Hard times.

.. HI.

I need to start coming up with random greetings so I can start my blog entries in cool ways... .__.

Anyways, just felt like making a quick update, nothing new really. Still drowning in stress, and still feeling like shit. Gonna go out driving with my dear friend Anni in just a second, gonna try to get my mind off things, and she said she really needed to do the same so yeah.. actually it was the other way around, either way, we're both feeling a bit down right now and school isn't making it better. 

Angst of an Artist © Me

Tho I did get a 9 (10 is the highest score) on my Biology test so I'm happy and a .. 7 ? 8? can't remember, on my Physics test so yeah, I think I did well, tho there's still a lot more to come = gah.

... My lil' finger looks ridiculous, what? Uh yeah. idk nothing more I suppose.

I really love it when there's friends like Anni. Not only is she one of my oldest friends but we're also very much alike (we usually think the same and feel the same) and.. she's just a very nice friend in all other ways. It's funny how I realize it at times, not all the time. Stupid me.

- Niko

IT'S.. It was FRIDAY FRIDAY!

Hahaa okay so I finally had a life for like one day! Wohoo, yay for me. So I wanted to make a blog post about it, with pictures and all, pretty like that. But guess what? I didn't have my cam with me... GGRRH. anyway, so I drew like 2 pictures on paint, hope you like them!

Kai, Valter & Me

So it was markkinat in Jeppis and I went there with my dear friend Kai and my lovely sweetheart Valter~ Tho the markkinat weren't really our reason to go there, but hey whatever. 
So first me and Valter headed off to the flea market, I was on a hunt for red shoes to my Lambdadelta cosplay, but unfortunately I didn't fund a shit, but on the other hand Valter found a cd and some candy, day saved! During the time we were walking around on the flea market Kai went to a store where they sell instruments, music, games etc and bought some plektrums, he's just started playing guitar, good luck to him!
Uh, we met up somewhere and headed to town. As expected there was a lot of people there cause of the markkinat and all, and I had one of those days when I almost started panicking cause of the folk masses but hmm. We bought food and left to some more quiet place to eat. Kebabaaaa~

Korvgörans kebab with french fries and sallad, yum.

Then we... .. I dunno, we just kinda walked around in stores and stuff, later on we went to a café where we met a lot of people Valter happened to know but in the end they all left.. and so did we! 
It was strating to get cold and the stores were closing and we didn't really have anywhere to go so Valter phones one of his friends asking if we could come over and she said sure, but before going there we actually met Anni, Johanna and Janica! Yeah, fun times, fun times.. :''D
Okay well, we headed off to Alex and Ulrik (yes it's two girls, shush) (and no they don't live together) and there we just chilled, watched tv and listened to music. And I fell asleep. On Valter. Hurrr~♥ There's nothing more lovely than that... ~
Then around 00:25 we left to catch our bus which would arrive at 00:55. Kai and me got on the buss and left Jeppis to hit Kaapeli town, end of story.


Anyway, it was great fun, mostly when I'm out in town nothing ever happens and it's dead boring, but this time it was actually quite nice (and the cherry on top of the cake was ofc sleeping on Valter, hurrrdurrrhurrr.. ♥) so yeah, hope there'll be many fridays (or just anydays) of the same kind in the future~ or even better ones, ooh.


I'm off to bed now, chooh.
- Niko

I herd you liek...

KIDMUDS.
Yeah, I'm gonna write a blog entry completely randomly, not planned at all and I have no idea what I'm gonna talk about, cause nothing new has really happened. Nothing new really ever happens, but hey whatever.
Gah, 8 weeks to go and school will be over, done. Done with my 9 years in basic school. Kinda sad but still exciting and all I mean. I have very fused feelings about this. Cause it means I'll start in a new school, new kids, new teachers, new class, new everything. Kinda scares me but yeah, I kinda also look forward to it (ofc).
But during these 8 weeks we still have lots to do in school! Seriously lots, I wont type anything down here cause I don't want to think about ALL the stuff I'd need to do, my head would explode and I'd get a panic... thingy, I'd get extremely stressed, probably start to cry, so yeah. Ill try to keep my calm and take one thing at a time, not thing about them all too much~
One of these things is a physics test, we'll have it tomorrow and I feel like I know most of the stuff which probably equals in me not actually knowing anything cause.. Usually when you feel like you don't know anything you know the most stuff so yeah.. But I'll spend rest of the evening studying and trying to learn everything I still don't know~ Wish me luck~
Hmm, what else.. There was something I was gonna write but I can't remember... Anyway, so this was just a... quick updatish thing? I just felt like writing, sowwy... <__<
- Niko

dreams.

Olé olé!~
Woah, it's been a while again! Like.. a month and a half? Whoops, sorry!
But hey, don't blame me, blame Valter. He's been stealing all my free time lately (not that I mind...) so yup, not my fault :') 
So, during the time I haven't been writing anything, I've had a wonderful trip to Gran Canaria with my mom! Too bad I don't have any pics from the trip on my computer and I'm too lazy to go get the camera, but yeah. It was a very sunny and hot vacation, loved it! Tho I did burn my back a bit and there were these very creepy men everywhere flirting with me... Anyway.

Oh yes, and like a week ago, me and Valter had our 1 month anniversary, I ♥ you hun~

Moving on to something I always seem to write about; loving yourself and blah blah stuff like that. But that's cause I think of it so much, cause I don't have a life and cause people don't love themselves enough these days. Just saying.

It's lame how I always angst over nothing, how I angst over my body, when I have nothing to angst about. I angst about it, cause my friends have told me "You have fat legs", "You have horrible eyebrows", "You've gotten a bit fatter, haven't you?", "Your hair is horrible" etc. Seriously, why should I even care, if I think I look okay? There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. No, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm just saying there's nothing wrong with me, you get what I'm saying? ... That sounds really egoistic doesn't it?

Well you see, I'm not perfect, but there's nothing wrong with me. I'm beautiful the way I am cause I'm me. Everyones beautiful in their own way, actually it's a bit wrong to say that "no one is perfect", cause I think.. everyone's perfect in their own way, right? 

Uh, my mind's a bit messed, I'm hella tired but anyway. I mean, I have a lot of thought around this, for example that people wouldn't listen to me when I tell them they're beautiful and that they should love themselves cause I have such a nice body or something, but I do kinda get that they have such a hard time accepting themselves, considering that I have a hard time doing that and I absolutely CAN NOT imagine accepting myself if I'd look like most people (this sounds very rude, doesn't it.. ? well I didn't mean it that way x__x'). 

... Sorry this blog entry just got all messed up and stuff haha. Why don't I ever have anything interesting to write about!? I should write down thoughts...

Oh I could mention, I have this .. leftie hand project going on, I'll try to learn to write and draw with my left hand! .. Which makes me think of broken dreams and how stupid it's to be affected by other peoples opinions.

You know what guys, besides loving yourself you should also stick to your dreams. No matter if people just fucking laugh at you and tell you it's IMPOSSIBLE and shit like that, cause we all know it's not impossible. Everything is possible and you should keep believing in yourself. I mean, if no one else is there to support your  dreams, I will be there to support them. Holding on to your dreams is important, cause dreams usually are stuff you really want to do, so yeah. You shouldn't let go of them no matter what.

And oh, you should also dream of the ... impossible. I mean, seriously impossible. Like flying on a cow or shit like that, I don't know, but don't make them dreams that needs to come true, keep them as dreams that you just dream for the joy of dreaming, ya know. uh anyway.

Jealousy is a stupid feeling, I am gonna get rid off it.

- Niko