I want to start having my hair differently than I always usually have it; a high ponytail. fucking boring.
also I want to do something about it, srsly. Or get a nice wig and make it fucking miracles. I'm so tired of how I am and look and everything.
Also, get a bit slimmer legs and start wearing shit I'd actually wanna wear, be pretty, wear make up too.
DUDE I'M SOON 17 and I still look like I'd be 12, in the middle of a friggin identity crisis. Except for the very super bad emo/scene dressing part, it's a bit better than that but you see what I'm saying. I wanna look pretty and I wanna socialize, party on nice beaches with nice finnish friends in the middle of a summer night. Have amazingly pretty high heels. Get photos taken of me where I look so pretty, people want to look like me, m'kay. Life goals, shit bro.
Frankie's cool, you know. The Skins person. She's pretty, and has an interesting style. Mini too, I mean yeah, opposites all the way but still, I like both their styles. I'd really also, not want to only have one style, but to dress whatever way I ever want to. That's why wigs would be so cool you know, different wigs for different looks, i'd be fucking amazing. And oh my god, please buy me shoes. I caaaan't. I friggin like (feels like I really can't use love and no don't take any offense, you have done nothing wrong, I know you're reading this, and thus I do not want to use the words love or heart when talking about shoes cause we have already discussed it and I don't want you to feel bothered or like You've done something wrong so NO you haven't, you're lovely and you shouldn't feel anything except happiness and thankfulness cause I did this cause I care, like shit loads, so shhh darling, see ya tomorrow~) shoes and I mean like fucking amazing high heels and like oh my god. I need to post a few pairs of shoes I want.
Pair I Pair II Pair III Pair IV Pair V Pair VI Pair VII
Pair VIII Pair IX Pair X Pair XI Pair XII Pair XIII
ahahah I have no idea how the roman numeral system works, but I suppose I got it somehow right at least, or wha? So yeah, I'm quite shoe crazed, and that's just a tiny part of all the shoes I've been drooling after the past few months, NOM.
OMAGAAD I just noticed this dovely pair of shoes I've been checking out on Boozt.com IS ON SALE AA MOMMYY BUY MEEE
DOVELY
Anyone wanna buy me.. ? Late christmas present.. ? No.. ? WELL damn.
Uh ah. I actually finished a piece of art today. Want me to scan it? do you? do you? Ofc you want me to scan it. I'll put it on dev so you'll just gonna have to drag your ass there, give me some more hits on the way, and check it out. :')) totally legit.
Pura-Mummo on deviantART
Uh oh. Now I need to go. Like. I really have to go. And I'd need some manga. Damn I wish I'd get that ps3 right now so I wouldn't have to think about money all the time.. HNG.
- Niko
December 30, 2011
December 28, 2011
Normal.
Hi uh.
I thought I could do a more normal blog entry uh. feels like I've just been throwing out shit here lately so uh yeah. pics and shit, woopie.
Yea, it was christmas a few days ago, it was .. nice. I suppose. I got a lot of nice presents so yeah. I got my new phone, I got new socks, a pair of gloves, candy, more candy, leg warmers, mugs.. platethings, uuh.. I can't remember really but yeah. it was good, how bout you?
Every year, I think we all have a present crisis ahaha. So did I at least. But I solved it, awesome as I am, so yeah. The envelope above is a present I made (made two of them, different birds tho. Titityytitityy.) annd I thought the idea was fun so.. uh. yeah. CREATIVENESS. alll the way.
HERE is the finished painting I've been working on in school, I'm quite happy with it except for some parts but w/e, not gonna work on it any more. Olkoot.
It's three different pieces I've put together, Nightmare by Henry Fuseli, Lady with an Ermine by Leonardo da Vinci and a self portrait by Junji Ito.
For today, I decided to clean my desk wall, since it's filled with shit from 1588 or something haha. well not really, but shitloads of old stuff I'd rather not have there anymore. Might as well change the whole thing as the year will soon change and I'll have to get a new calendar.. HNNGG.
The picture on the left was actually a cosplay I had thought of making as my first cosplay. I chose it sometime soon after starting to get interested in cosplaying and cons. I never made it tho...
The one on the right was made during the summer in 2009, it has been a motivating (?) pic for me every time I've felt like I can't draw and I will quit doing so or whatever shit about me and my drawing stuff, it has always helped me to.. take a step back and actually think. It has motivated and kept me going, even if it's just the simplest pic with the lamest text ("Art is my life.. My everything♥") it has somehow been very important to me. Too bad it ain't working this time..
I have so many of these con bracelet things that I have no idea what to do with really. I don't want to throw them away so uh. I just decided to save them in some envelope. I also have ticket to Frostbite, but I don't know how I feel about going there. Ughhh.
I have so many of these con bracelet things that I have no idea what to do with really. I don't want to throw them away so uh. I just decided to save them in some envelope. I also have ticket to Frostbite, but I don't know how I feel about going there. Ughhh.
And so the finished wall is quite.. empty. For now. I put up my calendar, the pica pic and the art motivationg thing, cause it would've looked too empty otherwise. I also have a pic of me and Vallu down in the corner~
Hmm, yeah. that's about what I've been up too today. i would've actually wanted to do a whole lot more, and well, I still have time but... I don't know, I've just been feeling very down about everything lately. I can't really draw cause I feel so disgusting when I do. Even if I'd really want to I can't. I just can't stand the fact of.. everything. Also the fact that it feels like I've finished 3 pictures during this year makes me feel kinda shit. I should produce more art, I just never.. get anything done. OTL
aagh omagaad I'm soon 17.. ffuuck.
Okay, I'll leave you gais nao, try to get something done.. sobbu.
- Niko
December 25, 2011
Merry fucking Christmas.
not a single fuck was given.
Na, xmas, was great and all, over nao. Hate how it's like WHOOO XMAAASS and the day after, you're just like fml xmas is over. Damn xmas.
Right now I just want to cry, I'm tired, angry, frustrated, stressed, sad, angsty, hating, restless and I have a headache. I just want to go die under some rock and never draw again. Never ever meet people again, never ever need to have shit talks with anyone again. I WANT ewfojwhkn and now demanded to make someone else a happy.
Easy task when you're feeling very happy yourself too, UGH.
I just feel like crap cause I hate myself for the moment. I hate my existence, I hate my hobbies, I hate my future, I hate my past, I hate just. blargh. Tired of everything.
I hate it how I can't draw anything except for the same shit I always draw. I hate I draw dogs and animals. I hate I draw "manga". I hate I can't draw anythign realistic cause I get frustrated. I hate I'm not Kai when it comes to drawing. I hate I don't draw everyday. I hate that I hate learning stuff. I hate that I feel this way now. I hate that I often feel this way, and I hate that I feel like I can't do about it and I hate that I by hating, not trying to do anything about anything cause I just thing everything's going to hell anyway. I hate I'm this way, inside and outside.
I should, and I probably will, try to even up all the hate by saying things I like, even if I don't like anything really atm. I just want to hate and eat and cry.
I like my body. I like my face, and I like my eyes. I like the socks I'm wearing right now. I like... ugh
well that was quite the sum up......................... There's probably a whole lot of things I like, but I just can't right now. I should, should think positive, should like, but I just hate and hate.
And instead of thinking of stuff I just lay down and stop thinking. Why don't I think of solutions and interesting stuff like I used to.
I want to draw, but I can't cause I absolutely DO NOT want to draw any of those ugly ass dogs with their ugly ass anatomy that's totally up the ass. And I don't want to draw a single one of those superduperkawaiidesu bastard "manga" girls with their ugly as big sparkle eyes. I REFUSE. Thus I cannot draw, cause I can't draw anything else without it pissing me off cause I feel like I can't. Why can't I just be patient.
I wish I didn't waste so much time of my life just being angry and down.
I should stop wishing I was someone else, like Kai, cause I'm quite sure he doesn't have the perfect life everyone seems to have on the outside. I'm sure, he has, like everyone else, problems and shit stuff going on, and I'm sure he also feels angsty and sad and angry sometimes.
Why can't I just stop wishing I'd be someone else, and actually change what I want to change in ym life, what I think others have that I don't.
Since when did life become this.. hard.
- Niko
Na, xmas, was great and all, over nao. Hate how it's like WHOOO XMAAASS and the day after, you're just like fml xmas is over. Damn xmas.
Right now I just want to cry, I'm tired, angry, frustrated, stressed, sad, angsty, hating, restless and I have a headache. I just want to go die under some rock and never draw again. Never ever meet people again, never ever need to have shit talks with anyone again. I WANT ewfojwhkn and now demanded to make someone else a happy.
Easy task when you're feeling very happy yourself too, UGH.
I just feel like crap cause I hate myself for the moment. I hate my existence, I hate my hobbies, I hate my future, I hate my past, I hate just. blargh. Tired of everything.
I hate it how I can't draw anything except for the same shit I always draw. I hate I draw dogs and animals. I hate I draw "manga". I hate I can't draw anythign realistic cause I get frustrated. I hate I'm not Kai when it comes to drawing. I hate I don't draw everyday. I hate that I hate learning stuff. I hate that I feel this way now. I hate that I often feel this way, and I hate that I feel like I can't do about it and I hate that I by hating, not trying to do anything about anything cause I just thing everything's going to hell anyway. I hate I'm this way, inside and outside.
I should, and I probably will, try to even up all the hate by saying things I like, even if I don't like anything really atm. I just want to hate and eat and cry.
I like my body. I like my face, and I like my eyes. I like the socks I'm wearing right now. I like... ugh
well that was quite the sum up......................... There's probably a whole lot of things I like, but I just can't right now. I should, should think positive, should like, but I just hate and hate.
And instead of thinking of stuff I just lay down and stop thinking. Why don't I think of solutions and interesting stuff like I used to.
I want to draw, but I can't cause I absolutely DO NOT want to draw any of those ugly ass dogs with their ugly ass anatomy that's totally up the ass. And I don't want to draw a single one of those superduperkawaiidesu bastard "manga" girls with their ugly as big sparkle eyes. I REFUSE. Thus I cannot draw, cause I can't draw anything else without it pissing me off cause I feel like I can't. Why can't I just be patient.
I wish I didn't waste so much time of my life just being angry and down.
I should stop wishing I was someone else, like Kai, cause I'm quite sure he doesn't have the perfect life everyone seems to have on the outside. I'm sure, he has, like everyone else, problems and shit stuff going on, and I'm sure he also feels angsty and sad and angry sometimes.
Why can't I just stop wishing I'd be someone else, and actually change what I want to change in ym life, what I think others have that I don't.
Since when did life become this.. hard.
- Niko
December 15, 2011
Dino's and rhino's
Ahaha, forgive me and my last post. Sometimes, I just have to.
Today I feel like doing something, but I don't really know what, probably could wrap some shit up :'B It's soon x-mas u know so yeah. ABD I FEEL LIKE DRAWING oh my goooodd I so want to draw someshit, but I'm out of inspiration gahahaha.
Yesterday I went to Jeppis with my family, it was really nice, and I bought some stuff, some x-mas presents and a dvd for me, Princess Mononoke to be more precise :') Uuh. I didn't really get anything else. Some dried fruit things that weren't delish at all :'v
Oh golly all the people I should still buy presents for.. Mom&Dad, Maria, Kai, Jutta... Ghh. I'd need to go to jeppis but at the same time, I'd need to finish that painting I'm working on in school and man it's just a few days left to x-mas, fuck :'c OH WELL.
I might as well post a pic of that painting of mine. And oh, I also got pics of the grafiikka things we made in schools during the last few weeks~
Everything is frigging gorgeous, I know. And the painting pic is reaaaaal high quality phonecam pic, NOT. Uguu okay now I'll leave u gais, get a life and make shit happen YO
- Niko
Today I feel like doing something, but I don't really know what, probably could wrap some shit up :'B It's soon x-mas u know so yeah. ABD I FEEL LIKE DRAWING oh my goooodd I so want to draw someshit, but I'm out of inspiration gahahaha.
Yesterday I went to Jeppis with my family, it was really nice, and I bought some stuff, some x-mas presents and a dvd for me, Princess Mononoke to be more precise :') Uuh. I didn't really get anything else. Some dried fruit things that weren't delish at all :'v
Oh golly all the people I should still buy presents for.. Mom&Dad, Maria, Kai, Jutta... Ghh. I'd need to go to jeppis but at the same time, I'd need to finish that painting I'm working on in school and man it's just a few days left to x-mas, fuck :'c OH WELL.
I might as well post a pic of that painting of mine. And oh, I also got pics of the grafiikka things we made in schools during the last few weeks~
- Niko
December 8, 2011
ragequitangstdesunyawtf
aaaa wtf just a sec ago I was real happy with this shit, now I hate it wtfff
I can't.
My brains hurting, and I'd need to cry, but for some reason I'm stopping myself, i don't even know why I wan't to cry but us,jfdILgs
I can't.
My brains hurting, and I'd need to cry, but for some reason I'm stopping myself, i don't even know why I wan't to cry but us,jfdILgs
I'm so sick of just being able to draw whatever i'm able to draw; bad anatomy shit humans, dogish things and that's it. AND APPARENTLY EVERYTHING I DRAW IS MANGA. Or well it's either that I actually draw manga all the time THO I TRY AT TIMES NOT TO like srsly I do try! but still people are like ooh manga desu desu and I'm like NO I SRSLY TRIED or then people just have classed me as a person who can't draw anything but manga, so everything I draw is manga. Even shitty flowers would be manga, manga manga manga
why the fuck does manga exiiisstt aawwbwrhjn I hate this shit :'c why the fuck do I exist!?
AAaas sop tired of everything, why the fuck am I even writing thiss aaaa pouring shit out for people to read, this must be the greatest idea fucking ever.
AAaas sop tired of everything, why the fuck am I even writing thiss aaaa pouring shit out for people to read, this must be the greatest idea fucking ever.
I'm gonna stop now.
- Niko
December 4, 2011
Long weekend
Hhnnngg, feeling a bit hungry, nomnom. I can has bread.
Man, I miss my parents so much, luckily they're coming home in like.. 3 days öwö öwö öwö. ouch now my ear started hurting again, just a sec, gonna chop some leek.
wwiiee now i'm half deaf again. Okay uh so yeah, my ears are hurting cause they.. are. And Vallu read it helps to put leek in them so.. I did.
OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T OPENED MY CHOCO CALENDER YET aaaaahgghh I'll do it tomorrow..
I don't have school tomorrow btw :')))) And neither on tuesday, Finlands Independence Day. Whooh! Too bad I still have to get up early tomorrow, cause my sis has school and I have to wake her up.. Oh well, I can go back to sleep after that.
Ough, now my belly's in pain too...
Uuuh. I have really nothing to say. I haven't been up to anything special really, today I've been out with the dog, I've made chicken and noodles and after that I went to the store and bought stuff like cat food. Then I posted a new thread on a forum about me selling my Weed and ToHeart2 cosplays so.. hope someone's interested. I have no idea what prices I should have, cause I mean, the Weed costume is self mad,e but quite shitty but still, and I remember the fabrics being ridiculously expensive. then we have the seifuku, which i bought from Ippai, but they don't seem to have it anymore, so I can't check the price. But probably more than 20e................. I have no fucking idea.
TOMORROW THE PS3 MIGHT BE MINE. MUAHAHAHAHA. Yeah. Bitches.
Oh and did I tell you I have found a beautiful phone I want? hhrrr
Oh yeah bby.
Uuuh. I have nothing else really to saayy. I'm just gonna post a cute pic of me and I'm gone.
Man, I miss my parents so much, luckily they're coming home in like.. 3 days öwö öwö öwö. ouch now my ear started hurting again, just a sec, gonna chop some leek.
wwiiee now i'm half deaf again. Okay uh so yeah, my ears are hurting cause they.. are. And Vallu read it helps to put leek in them so.. I did.
OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T OPENED MY CHOCO CALENDER YET aaaaahgghh I'll do it tomorrow..
I don't have school tomorrow btw :')))) And neither on tuesday, Finlands Independence Day. Whooh! Too bad I still have to get up early tomorrow, cause my sis has school and I have to wake her up.. Oh well, I can go back to sleep after that.
Ough, now my belly's in pain too...
Uuuh. I have really nothing to say. I haven't been up to anything special really, today I've been out with the dog, I've made chicken and noodles and after that I went to the store and bought stuff like cat food. Then I posted a new thread on a forum about me selling my Weed and ToHeart2 cosplays so.. hope someone's interested. I have no idea what prices I should have, cause I mean, the Weed costume is self mad,e but quite shitty but still, and I remember the fabrics being ridiculously expensive. then we have the seifuku, which i bought from Ippai, but they don't seem to have it anymore, so I can't check the price. But probably more than 20e................. I have no fucking idea.
TOMORROW THE PS3 MIGHT BE MINE. MUAHAHAHAHA. Yeah. Bitches.
Oh and did I tell you I have found a beautiful phone I want? hhrrr
Uuuh. I have nothing else really to saayy. I'm just gonna post a cute pic of me and I'm gone.
NIGHT
- Niko
December 2, 2011
Fondu au Noir
Oh hi.
I got my computer back yesterday~ Tho when I opened it and turned it on I noticed this kind of big horrible thing...
They had changed my hard driver. Which means, all my pictures, files and programs are now gone. Every single piece of very important information, kapoosh. Gone. Didn't make me really happy.
The reason I sent it in for fixing was because of my fan, this is why I didn't copy everything to my Buffaloif, cause hey. They're gonna change a Fan, why the fuck would they touch my hard driver? I never even got informed about the fact my hard driver will be gone in the wind so that I could copy everything. They just took it, and destroyed it.
My computer is now also installed on Swedish, so I have to re-install it to turn it back to English. Why the fuck is all this shit happening?
Oh wait, I'm not done.
Today, when I was hurrying to an English test we had this morning, my bike broke. Or well, my dads bike. And I felt really bad, so not only was I angry cause we came late and my bike broke, but I also felt really shitty cause I had broken my DADS bike. I feel horrible... .__.;
My sis is at my grandma atm, so I'm enjoying a people free weekend. Until suddenly, my bro and his gf shows up and decides to sleep over. And drink. WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED!? I knew he was coming over to help me order my PS3 but he never said anything about partying and sleepovers. I'm a bit pissed, but okay...
So yeah, about the PS3, I almost own it. Buying it through a biding website so I .. Might get it ahahah, I'll have to see. Sent a message to the seller asking if I could buy it for the 170e I bid, haven't answered yet but.. Let's hope he says yes~ I have no idea if the PS I'm buying is good, but I'll just have to trust my bro on that.
uh.. what else.. Oh yeah, I finished that Euthanasia pic for my friends Amanda;
I'm so friggin proud.
I got my computer back yesterday~ Tho when I opened it and turned it on I noticed this kind of big horrible thing...
They had changed my hard driver. Which means, all my pictures, files and programs are now gone. Every single piece of very important information, kapoosh. Gone. Didn't make me really happy.
The reason I sent it in for fixing was because of my fan, this is why I didn't copy everything to my Buffaloif, cause hey. They're gonna change a Fan, why the fuck would they touch my hard driver? I never even got informed about the fact my hard driver will be gone in the wind so that I could copy everything. They just took it, and destroyed it.
My computer is now also installed on Swedish, so I have to re-install it to turn it back to English. Why the fuck is all this shit happening?
Oh wait, I'm not done.
Today, when I was hurrying to an English test we had this morning, my bike broke. Or well, my dads bike. And I felt really bad, so not only was I angry cause we came late and my bike broke, but I also felt really shitty cause I had broken my DADS bike. I feel horrible... .__.;
My sis is at my grandma atm, so I'm enjoying a people free weekend. Until suddenly, my bro and his gf shows up and decides to sleep over. And drink. WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED!? I knew he was coming over to help me order my PS3 but he never said anything about partying and sleepovers. I'm a bit pissed, but okay...
So yeah, about the PS3, I almost own it. Buying it through a biding website so I .. Might get it ahahah, I'll have to see. Sent a message to the seller asking if I could buy it for the 170e I bid, haven't answered yet but.. Let's hope he says yes~ I have no idea if the PS I'm buying is good, but I'll just have to trust my bro on that.
uh.. what else.. Oh yeah, I finished that Euthanasia pic for my friends Amanda;
I'm so friggin proud.
Currently working on a new blog for my class, should make the layout someday soon, but yeah.. Uh. Gonna continue watching TV now.
- Niko
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