FRYFRYFRY YOUR BOAT

A few things you might want to take time to think about before taking a single step into Finland;

If you have plans on moving to Finland, STOP. That'll be the stupidest choice that you'll ever make in your whole entire life. Unless you fucking love COLD WINTERS and snow. And if you have plans on comic here for vacation, PLEASE. Wait til summer.
You see, we have lovely COLD LONG DARK WINTERS around here with LOADS OF SNOW. It's so cold, you'll most definitely freeze your toes and fingers off, you might even freeze your legs, butt, arms and face off, and in some extreme cases, you'll die. Also, breathing during winter is impossible. The winter landscape might seem pretty and harmless with it's oh so white and sparkly cold snow and it's pretty just-a-few-hours-visible sun (which is also cold), but I'll tell you, if you try to breathe with your nose, it will hurt shit loads and it will probably die and fall off. And if you try breathing with your mouth, your throat will commit suicide, your tootsies (aka teeth)  will  start hurting cause they're freezing, and you'll probably die.

So don't come to Finland during winter. It's trolling you. (lol no I'm not serious. But it's cold, not kidding.)


FOOOK YIA, got mai PS3 money back. Uh yeah, it's been shit loads of shit going on with the ps3 seller.. I never received my PS3, and it took quite long before I got my money back, but I got it in the end, and I'm happy. We're gonna go buy a completely new ps3 from a store.. sometime.. when I got the money... *sobpoorbastardsob* Ahaha but yeah.

Uhh, I'm working on this new vid for my youtube account, but it's being quite a bitch since I don't dare download any video editing program, and the only "good one" I found was movie maker, who decides to cut up my 4½h material into small 5sec-1min clips, so.. uh. I have to put all those smaaall pieces together, then speed them up one by one cause movie maker can't mark them all and add speed up to them so, whoop. It's a whole lot of work in this shiet.
I suppose I'll try to get the Vegas trail and see if I can make shit happen with it... prolly not ahaha. fml.

Oh, I planned to maybe livestream later on today when I'm working on the new layout for da blogguu, will prolly put a link at my deviantart and yeah, you can go check it out if you like to. Usually there's not many around, I remember Tydii used to be there and such, but we'll see. :') I just thought I might as well do that instead, since recording my screen isn't anything my comp really likes + I hate video editing. So fuck yeah for live shit.

Uh oh, I should probably go now! Got my singing lessons, but keep and eye on my dev account so that you can all stalk me trying to make art.. :'''''''D

k, bye.

- Niko

BANANA YOGHURT

I was gonna update yesterday but then I just.. didn't ahahahahaha. Fuck yoouuu!
Naa, I just did so much other shit yesterday. I went to school, I painted, I drove a car, I went to the sauna.. you know, stuff. But yeah, updating now, fook yia.

Today I didn't really know what to wear, I knew I wanted to wear my pink pants cause I felt ridiculous, and I felt like I wanted to dress however I wanted, which usually end up with all my clothes lying around the floor, me crying cause I feel uncomfy and ugly in everything and then I just put on something really lame. BUT, not today! Today I actually managed to make an outfit I thought looked 50% ridiculous and 50% cute, just what I wanted! ... Now my cat's staring at my computer screen.. stalker.
Anyway! I also took a veeeery pretty pic and edited it with my phone, wootwoot. So yeah, sorry for the quality and shit... 

I have finally started working on that art trade I should have started working on long ago, lazy me. I just felt so guilty I had to start doing something. And so far it looks.. good. I feel like I've lately actually learned stuff while drawing, since I have used reference pictures (which I normally never used to do!) and actually paid more attention to things such as anatomy (tho I'm sure it's still up the ass, muehehe. I'm planning on buying an anatomy book since I don't own one and I think every artist should have a good anatomy book!) and other small things that I'd normally just.. do in whatever way I felt like doing them. For example; there's these stairs in the picture I'm currently working on, and I have never really drawn stairs before, so I studied the shape of the stairs (they turn a bit) from different angles, so I could somehow figure out what they'd look like when drawn the way I wanted them to be. I also searched the internet for inspiration when I did the stair rail, which I though was very wise of me. So yeah, stuff like that! And I'm just very proud of myself since I feel like I've finally starting to make some progress :'3

Umm.. Yeah, I drove a car yesterday, since I'll turn 18 next year, and start training for my drivers license at the end of this year, my dad and I though we might as well just slowly get me used to the car and what it's like before starting to train for the actual license, since I think I'll have a whole lot other things to think of while driving than just the breaks and shit, so yeah. We drove on this yard, no roads involved, and.. yeah. It was much easier than I had imagined, even if I just drove in the first .. gear? (vaihde) It wasn't really any different from driving a moped so I think I might have easier with the driving since I know how to drive moped, which is great~

I feel like I always just write these lame ass text but ahaha, I think a lot of stuff, but never when writing in my blog so I never really.. capture the thought lol. Anyway, I'll leave you for now.

- Niko

$ HAIR $

Haha that sounds like those viagra and penis enlargement mails you all get... Tho what I mean by the title is that someday, when I'm really poor, cause I can't live on being an artist, I'll cut my hair and get some food money for it. FUCK YEAH. How to survive life; always have long hair to get money of.

I hate being as tired as I was today, srsly, everything was just suuuch a pain in the ass and like uuugghh. I still haven't got my PS3, which.. sucks. since I feel like it'll never arrive. He has probably, most likely, fooled me so yay. G'bye 200€, I don't think I'll ever see you again.... ! Okay well I suppose if he turns out to be a scam, my mom will work her ass off to get my money back so AHAHA.
Oh I btw have this list of things I want.. Cause I decided I need to make some kind of priority list to keep track of shit. But it's still really hard to.. prioritize some shit cause.. I WANT IT ALL. NOW. HHNG.
So, things I have on the list in priority order;

• PlayStation 3
• Canon EOS 600D
• Skyrim (I think I'll save up for Skyrim kinda at the same time as I save for the Canon....)
• Paint Tool SAI License 
• Alice Madness Returns
• Assassins Creed II
• Assassins Creed Brotherhood
• Assassins Creed Revelations (?)
• Adobe Creative Suite 5.5 Production Premium (I have a reeeeaally hard time choosing what pack I'd like to have, cause.. They usually don't have all the programs I want. I wish you could kinda pick the programs you want, and make an own package. That way, you'd get what you really just need and still get it for much less than buying each program separately.)
• Pipo Doll Robin

I have the PS3 there still since I don't know whether I'll be getting it or not.. Soo yeah. I'd love to get that camera before summer, cause I'd like to film a musicvideoish thing in Tampere then, I'm not good at filming or anything, but I have always wished to film all kinds of stuff and well, that camera both takes good videos and pics so yeah. ME GUSTA.
You notice I have finally decided to actually get programs such as SAI and Photoshop, since I want to use them legally. I want to be able to sell prints at cons if I want to and work on stuff in photoshop without needing to feel like a criminal.. It's sad tho that everything has to be so goddamn expensive. But I suppose, once you got it you won't really need to upgrade it or get newer versions of it until like.. 20 years later, haha. Idk, but I can just imagine that you get quite far with the things that you find in Photoshop CS 5 or whatever version it is and so on.
SAI isn't really even that expensive, compared to photoshop at least, ahaha. But I think it's worth the price (~50€) since it's my favorite drawing program when working digitally, and I just think it's a really great program and all. Ofc I could use GIMP but.. I just simply hate GIMP ahaha. I think it's a hooorribly confusing program, there's no up and down in it, it just.. is. So yeah. SAI FTW.
Also about the last thing; yes, it's a kind of BJD doll. I have for many years now, ever since Kai got his first one I think, dreamed of having a really tiny one that I can just.. carry around and be cute with. I wanted it to be pocket size and I kinda did want it to be an animal as well, or a human with tail and ears or something... Well, I found a lovely site where they sold mostly animal design BJDs and there I found Robin. People probably think I'm crazy wasting about 160€ on such a small DOLL, but.. Meh, I don't know. Might as well get all these expensive stuff as long as you live at home and don't have to pay rent or buy food yourself. Then it's going to be impossible to ever buy anything anymore really :'D
So yeah. There's a list of things I reallt really want. I wish I could gather money in some other way than just the money I get from my parents every month, and ofc I'll have a summer job during summer, but.. it'd be nice if I'd be more creative, post more art, create my own style or just I dunno, have nice enough art to catch people's attention so that they'd like to buy shiet.

I kinda had plans on making a Panty cosplay for summer 2012, but.. I don't know if I'll have any money over for that, or cons or anything.. How weird, having a completely con free year.. I mean, yeah, the interest is kinda killed, but.. I still have this feeling that I'd actually really want to, I just kinda.. push it away since I don't feel good enough, and it needs a lot of time and money and besides, at the con I'll still have the shittiest time ever since I'll just be sitting in some corner lonely, instead of being a sexy ass Panty. Bleh. But I hope maybe someday still I could go to cons and feel good about it.. I'd really love too. Tho, I suppose I could at least take a visit at some con if I happen to be in Tampere filming as they have Tracon or something..~ Sounds very nice..~

Woohoo. I'm really happy about the sketch I just made, I have this art trade I should be working on, but school and everything just takes up my time. And I don't really feel that creative after a long day in school in front of a computer trying to come up with smart ass ideas in design class, I'm not just good at designing shit.. And I feel really awful spending most of my time just slacking off... I just can't come up with great ideas all the time, so I need to slack off some :'B But I think it's really nice to get to use a new program (Illustrator) and I actually really like it. It's kinda like Flash, yet not. Unluckily I'm not able to install my tablet so yeah.. Tho school has a few ones, but we have to circulate them so, it's not.. really that nice. Oh well.

On Friday I think I actually have some photographing to do, like.. work photographing, so that'll be nice :') Might get a little cash..~
I have a arthistory thing I also need to get done annd.. Oh, we need to read a book for mother tongue. Hömhöm. Yees, I have some stuff going on atm ahah :') Wish I'd have more energy and could do more during the days.. But in school you just have to work on the school thing you're currently doing, and then you get home and you're tired and out of inspiration and bleh.
Uh oh. I think I'm done explaining shit right now :'D
My cat is fucking adorable.

- Niko

I love dreamin' dreamin', happy.

I don't feel like listening to capsule at all atm, but I still am since I can't really find anything else to listen too. And I'm hoping it'd cheer me up. These mood pills aren't really that nice to eat. And I'm tired.
Today was the first day of school this year, ahaha. Yeah it was okay, we started on some graphic design thing, so we use computers all day and shit, and .. yeah. I don't really like Adobe Illustrator so far, ahaha, but maybe we'll become friends.. At least I'm allowed to bring my tablet and such, so that's good.
I spent my weekend in jeppis with Vallu, we went shopping. Just bought some bras and shit, so nothing special. I started a new painting there too, didn't finish it tho, but I hope I'll still finish it some day, or then I'll just have to scan the part that is already done and just crop it.. ahaha. Lame.
Also working on a pic on my comp, actually a new layout for my blog, and I'm also trying to record it, so that I can make a new youtube vid, so.. we'll see how that goes. I have succeeded once, but man, it was hard. I always have shit loads of trouble when trying to record my screen. Bleh.

Oh, today I got the calendar I ordered from Alexander Jansson, a swedish artist. Go check him out on deviantart, he has quite some nice works, so yeah. It's really pretty and I'm really happy with it, since my last calendar, for some odd reason, ended when the year changed.. !? ahaha naah, but yup. Didn't seem like Sangatsu Manga was making one for 2012 so I decided OKAY. I'll get some other one then. Cause I really need to have one so that I can write all my bullshit there, m'kay.

I suppose I'll leave you for now, try to get something done and.. uh. I don't know ahah. I feel like sewing and I'd really like to kinda go to Frostbite but I have already decided not to. But I still can't get the ticket sold.. buhuh. oh well.

- Niko

SHORT SHORTS

Oh yeah. I never mentioned in my last post that it was my 100th blog post, and that I was really anxious about what I should write, but it turned out much better than expected, and it wasn't even planned. TAKE THAT!
Today, I haven't been out once. I've been eating. Damn hormones. I think I'm just thinking too much about it so I eat. Which isn't good. MUST. STOP. EATING.

Also, I want to loose wright. HNNGG. 55kg. MUST. BECOME. also I want a wig. MUST. HAVE.

oh well. Today I transformed an ugly pair of pants.. Okay well it feels very mean to call them ugly since I got them from Vallu, but.. Not very my style. I felt like an ugly Gamzee in them, and I tried making them tighter but they were just so short, it didn't work really. SO. I decided to turn them into super hot amazing shorts. WHOOP. And they became coolioo. My mom even liked them! So yeah. I don't have a pic of what they looked like before but I fished up an image of a pair that kinda looks like they did..

TADAAHH

fucking gorgeous, ey.
So I cut em of and turned them into shorts, quite simply.

Yup yup. I'd still like to add something to them, and since I got a few extra zippers from the pants, I suppose I could use them to decorate the shorts with.. I'll have to see. They're good for now.

Uh, I hadn't planned on writing anything else really so.. I'll leave it at this, I suppose.. ?

- Niko

Sing

It's interesting how much more I was me in the past than I am now, even tho I didn't realize it back then and that's probably why I'm where I am atm. Damn, should've turned right at that one part.. fu.
I think it's cause in the past, at least at some point, sometimes, I didn't give a shit. I did what I found ... me. But you know then you come to the part where you start wondering who the hell you are just cause some dumb books and people are like YYeeeaaah everyone goes through a phase where they search for themselves and blahblah bullshit, and then you loose yourself and end up like me; without a place in the world. Lost in myself, still wondering who the hell I am.
And I don't really know what you're supposed to do when you're lost in yourself, I suppose just being would be the answer, fuck everyone else and fuck their opinions and fuck it if your mom tells you you suck and fuck it if your friends laugh at your dumb ass hobbies that you're all alone with okay. Fuck them all. Okay cause it doesn't matter, what matters is what YOU want. What YOU want to do with your life, what YOU want to do during the weekends, who you wanna be with and when and fuuuucck everyone else's fucking dumb shit opinions okay, cause they're always wrong. always. They can never be right cause see, it's YOUR life not theirs, they have their own life's they can go fuck up and live as they please, none of our business, okay.
So, sort yourself out, it's not that hard. Srsly. I don't know the answer but okay I don't know, do as you please, I think that sounds fucking amazing. Think as you please, dress as you please, cut and have your hair as you please, dance as you please, sing as you please, don't take bullshit from no one, except if it's constructive critic, but don't take that either if you don't feel like you need it. You know you need it if you want to progress, so don't deny it then, just. listen. It doesn't have to be that every critic works for you, i mean, it's still your choice and everyone's not always right about everything, maybe you just can't work the way they work or shit. But keep stuff in mind, might be good. And if a lot of people say the same shit, listen. And listen good. Cause then something might actually be off.
Back to being you. Okay, have the hobbies you want, don't give a shit if no one else of your friends have the same hobbies or if those dumb bastards leave you just for your hobbies, okay, they're not worth being your friends then okay. I'm here for you, I'm here for everyone, if your friends leave you, you know you got me. Or if you believe in God or whatever higher power, I suppose you got him/her/it too so yeah. Your friends doesn't matter, unless they're real friends, who wouldn't leave you just cause you have other hobbies than football and shopping. Real friends stay cause they like who you are, not what you do on your free time or what music you listen too tho it's ofc easier to have friends with same kinds of interests.. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OKAY. If your friends leave you, stick with me, stick with the universe, stick with morso until you make new ones, don't go fishin for those shitnibs that left you for something you love, okay. Not worth it at all.
Have hobbies you like, have hobbies you love. Dream big, dream small. Keep in mind that some dreams, such as becoming a pony and running on rainbows, might be something that probably wont come true, but I think we all know the difference between dreams that can come true and dreams that can't. And becoming an mangaka or comic artist is a dream that definitely can come true, no matter what anyone ways, okay. If you train hard and believe it will all be all right, Okay. No ones a super awesome coolio best comic artist ever without training, so don't be disappointed if your first comic turns out like the ultimate GNG rip off, or idk, just keep trying and think in new ways. AND TAKE CRITIC. But only if it's good, don't listen to bulshitter who tell you you can't become nothing CAUSE YOU'RE HOLDING THE PEN WRONG. Okay srsly, no such thing exists!  You can hold your pen however you like and still be awesome. You know, some people have to paint with their TOES and MOUTH, I don't think it really matter at all how you hold your friggin pen between your fingers so don't let haters like that get the best of you cause they're wrong. SH. Also don't listen to all the trolls and hatin, don't listen to "LOLOLOL YOU SUCK" "That dog is so UGLY" "Go kill yourself" okay, cause they're all just shit heads and I'm quite sure they can't draw at all.
And about your personality; don't worry too much. You will turn out just fine and motherfuckign gorgeous no matter what personality you have. Just cause you're shyer than some doesn't mean you suck. It doesn't mean you'd be less worth than them. They just happen to be good with people, and you're not alone with being the way you are, a lot of people are shy and can't speak to strangers, or make new friends as easily as some. It's just a part of life, and it doesn't mean your life is doomed to be shit just cause you may not communicate as openly as some. And if you really can't stand yourself being that way, do something about it. Trust me, it's not as hard as you might believe. Just take small steps and think positive, people aren't as nasty as you think. It's all just in your head. In fact, most people are really nice and friendly. And they're people just like you, so there's no need to be afraid of them. They will probably all love you really lots and lots.
ANOTHER THING you might want to keep in mind to not be a dick head is not to judge people, okay, srsly so much, TOO MUCH, judging going on. Just.. accept everyone and everything, I mean, you're you and you're different from everyone else and so is .., everyone else, logic. Okay no but they are people too and I don't think anyone likes being judged, it's just the way shit goes down, but be cool and don't judge people. Be open minded and open hearted and just.. don't hate anyone for the way they look, and if they're really mean, try to keep in mind that they probably don't feel too good about being dick either, I don't think a lot of people do, I didn't when I was one. So uh. yeah. No judging, you probably feel insecure walking around people too just cause you think of all the things they might thinks of you, so keep it in mind. Don't judge them, they don't deserve it. And I mean, it won't stop them from judging you but let them judge you then, their own fault and loss if they decide not to be friends with you just cause of the way you have your hair or the clothes you wear, cause you're a super awesome person so yeah.
Don't hate the way you look, cause you're pretty no matter what way you look. And don't be embarrassed of your past self, we all looked like shit sometime ahaha, dressing good is something you just have to learn, or then you decide not to give a shit. Anyway, just look however you want, if you're really miserable with your life cause of the way you look, you might want to do something about it, but you should accept yourself the way you are. Accept and love yourself. Cause you're beautiful, and there's always people that will love you, no matter what way you look. And being a skinny model doesn't make you pretty cause we're all pretty in our own ways, so.. Just be happy with what you look like and uh. Yeah. Love yourself.

- Niko