rantrantrant

Haithar.

Hmm, so today me and Vallu decided that we are apparently going to Desucon! Whoo~ Since I'll be working almost the whole summer it'll be fun to spend 3 days in Lahti so yup~ Tho I can't use any of my current cosplay's since I have pink hair and I have always used my normal blond hair when cosplaying and I don't really have any money to spend on a wig or a new costume since well, I have to pay a whole lot of Vallus part of this trip haha XD + I'm currently really messed up about what stuff I should and shouldn't buy.. I hate buying expensive stuff, it's the stupidest thing ever. It's like.. I just can't do it since you have to save up money and then it's suddenly just gone and it's just so hard to know what expensive stuff you REALLY need and what you don't and hfsuiojal I hate money and I hate not being a millionaire ... Okay, now I really feel like making a costume, CAN I DO IT IN JUST ONE MONTH Aaaa I dunno. you tell me ;__;

I hate that we humans always have these.. complexes with shit or like you know it's always like buhuh I'm so ugly I need to become prettier and then you're never really happy and it's actually really exhausting feeling this way (since I do but I still sometimes like.. don't.. Since I sometimes, when I see myself, I think like whadap with me, my legs and ass look completely normal and okay and shit, but then still, the shorts and stuff wont look good on me and then I cry sob) and I just don't kind of get why the hell it has to be this way and uh oh. And also same goes for money I mean my god, I'm obsessed with money. And I feel really really sad unless I have shit loads of money, which I never really have, but I kind of at the same time don't want to do nothign to get money and it's weird and annoying. And I just wish that I could do something I like and make money doing it BUT NOPE. I don't fucking get this world aaarrrrff, why are some so fuckign rich, why are there like .... a few famous and they're uber rich and then everyone else are just normal and poor and DA FUQ. :'B And becomign known is also so fucking impossible I want to cry. Forever letting everything out on my bloggu.

oooh it's raining outside. Tomorrow we have and English test, whoop. Prolly gonna go real shitty but I don't caare. ALSO ANOTHER THING I STARTED THINKING OF.

People being so fucking amazingly supporting aaahh yes, fuck everyone. I know I'm just the same but still, I like complaining about stuff so shadap.
Whenever you get this great idea and it's like you're like yyeeah maybe I should oor well maybe nooot.. And then there's this friend of yours who's like YEH go for it I think it's fantastic *sparkle* and you're liek oh my god yes why didn't I see it thank you labu youu yaaay and then you start building it up like fawk yyiia I can do this and then you start talking about it to other people cause you also want them to think it's the best motherfucking idea they have ever heard BUT THEN, this happens - they will tell you NOPE. You can't do that because your idea is fucking dumbshit fuck why did you even I don't get how you could possibly ever imagine THIS could be GOOD ahaha stop kidding me you ass ahahah you can't do shit you suck nothign works in this world and you'll probably die in some ditch. That's exactly what they will tell you, they will tell you you can't do anything you wanted to do and they will completely crush your dream and since you weren't on your guard, you were just wiiide open waiting to be smashed inside, they will smash you, hard and brutally. And you will be so sad and loose all hope and just run home and cry and you wont even realize it at first but then you'll be like oh my god they're so right I'll always be just an ass oh my goooddd *cry* and they will have ruined your life.
AND NO, there's no such thing as 'not giving a fuck about what other people think', cause shit just happened okay, you didn't think it was gonna happen and it did and okay, then just shit happens. MKAY.

.. There was something else I was gonna mention.. something to do with that but I can't seem to remember... oh whatever.

Oh yeah I changed the layout on my blog, whatcha think? ~ Happy I finally got it done..

Okay I'll go do something else now uh mm yeah, bai.
- Niko