IT'S.. It was FRIDAY FRIDAY!

Hahaa okay so I finally had a life for like one day! Wohoo, yay for me. So I wanted to make a blog post about it, with pictures and all, pretty like that. But guess what? I didn't have my cam with me... GGRRH. anyway, so I drew like 2 pictures on paint, hope you like them!

Kai, Valter & Me

So it was markkinat in Jeppis and I went there with my dear friend Kai and my lovely sweetheart Valter~ Tho the markkinat weren't really our reason to go there, but hey whatever. 
So first me and Valter headed off to the flea market, I was on a hunt for red shoes to my Lambdadelta cosplay, but unfortunately I didn't fund a shit, but on the other hand Valter found a cd and some candy, day saved! During the time we were walking around on the flea market Kai went to a store where they sell instruments, music, games etc and bought some plektrums, he's just started playing guitar, good luck to him!
Uh, we met up somewhere and headed to town. As expected there was a lot of people there cause of the markkinat and all, and I had one of those days when I almost started panicking cause of the folk masses but hmm. We bought food and left to some more quiet place to eat. Kebabaaaa~

Korvgörans kebab with french fries and sallad, yum.

Then we... .. I dunno, we just kinda walked around in stores and stuff, later on we went to a café where we met a lot of people Valter happened to know but in the end they all left.. and so did we! 
It was strating to get cold and the stores were closing and we didn't really have anywhere to go so Valter phones one of his friends asking if we could come over and she said sure, but before going there we actually met Anni, Johanna and Janica! Yeah, fun times, fun times.. :''D
Okay well, we headed off to Alex and Ulrik (yes it's two girls, shush) (and no they don't live together) and there we just chilled, watched tv and listened to music. And I fell asleep. On Valter. Hurrr~♥ There's nothing more lovely than that... ~
Then around 00:25 we left to catch our bus which would arrive at 00:55. Kai and me got on the buss and left Jeppis to hit Kaapeli town, end of story.


Anyway, it was great fun, mostly when I'm out in town nothing ever happens and it's dead boring, but this time it was actually quite nice (and the cherry on top of the cake was ofc sleeping on Valter, hurrrdurrrhurrr.. ♥) so yeah, hope there'll be many fridays (or just anydays) of the same kind in the future~ or even better ones, ooh.


I'm off to bed now, chooh.
- Niko

I herd you liek...

KIDMUDS.
Yeah, I'm gonna write a blog entry completely randomly, not planned at all and I have no idea what I'm gonna talk about, cause nothing new has really happened. Nothing new really ever happens, but hey whatever.
Gah, 8 weeks to go and school will be over, done. Done with my 9 years in basic school. Kinda sad but still exciting and all I mean. I have very fused feelings about this. Cause it means I'll start in a new school, new kids, new teachers, new class, new everything. Kinda scares me but yeah, I kinda also look forward to it (ofc).
But during these 8 weeks we still have lots to do in school! Seriously lots, I wont type anything down here cause I don't want to think about ALL the stuff I'd need to do, my head would explode and I'd get a panic... thingy, I'd get extremely stressed, probably start to cry, so yeah. Ill try to keep my calm and take one thing at a time, not thing about them all too much~
One of these things is a physics test, we'll have it tomorrow and I feel like I know most of the stuff which probably equals in me not actually knowing anything cause.. Usually when you feel like you don't know anything you know the most stuff so yeah.. But I'll spend rest of the evening studying and trying to learn everything I still don't know~ Wish me luck~
Hmm, what else.. There was something I was gonna write but I can't remember... Anyway, so this was just a... quick updatish thing? I just felt like writing, sowwy... <__<
- Niko

dreams.

Olé olé!~
Woah, it's been a while again! Like.. a month and a half? Whoops, sorry!
But hey, don't blame me, blame Valter. He's been stealing all my free time lately (not that I mind...) so yup, not my fault :') 
So, during the time I haven't been writing anything, I've had a wonderful trip to Gran Canaria with my mom! Too bad I don't have any pics from the trip on my computer and I'm too lazy to go get the camera, but yeah. It was a very sunny and hot vacation, loved it! Tho I did burn my back a bit and there were these very creepy men everywhere flirting with me... Anyway.

Oh yes, and like a week ago, me and Valter had our 1 month anniversary, I ♥ you hun~

Moving on to something I always seem to write about; loving yourself and blah blah stuff like that. But that's cause I think of it so much, cause I don't have a life and cause people don't love themselves enough these days. Just saying.

It's lame how I always angst over nothing, how I angst over my body, when I have nothing to angst about. I angst about it, cause my friends have told me "You have fat legs", "You have horrible eyebrows", "You've gotten a bit fatter, haven't you?", "Your hair is horrible" etc. Seriously, why should I even care, if I think I look okay? There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. No, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm just saying there's nothing wrong with me, you get what I'm saying? ... That sounds really egoistic doesn't it?

Well you see, I'm not perfect, but there's nothing wrong with me. I'm beautiful the way I am cause I'm me. Everyones beautiful in their own way, actually it's a bit wrong to say that "no one is perfect", cause I think.. everyone's perfect in their own way, right? 

Uh, my mind's a bit messed, I'm hella tired but anyway. I mean, I have a lot of thought around this, for example that people wouldn't listen to me when I tell them they're beautiful and that they should love themselves cause I have such a nice body or something, but I do kinda get that they have such a hard time accepting themselves, considering that I have a hard time doing that and I absolutely CAN NOT imagine accepting myself if I'd look like most people (this sounds very rude, doesn't it.. ? well I didn't mean it that way x__x'). 

... Sorry this blog entry just got all messed up and stuff haha. Why don't I ever have anything interesting to write about!? I should write down thoughts...

Oh I could mention, I have this .. leftie hand project going on, I'll try to learn to write and draw with my left hand! .. Which makes me think of broken dreams and how stupid it's to be affected by other peoples opinions.

You know what guys, besides loving yourself you should also stick to your dreams. No matter if people just fucking laugh at you and tell you it's IMPOSSIBLE and shit like that, cause we all know it's not impossible. Everything is possible and you should keep believing in yourself. I mean, if no one else is there to support your  dreams, I will be there to support them. Holding on to your dreams is important, cause dreams usually are stuff you really want to do, so yeah. You shouldn't let go of them no matter what.

And oh, you should also dream of the ... impossible. I mean, seriously impossible. Like flying on a cow or shit like that, I don't know, but don't make them dreams that needs to come true, keep them as dreams that you just dream for the joy of dreaming, ya know. uh anyway.

Jealousy is a stupid feeling, I am gonna get rid off it.

- Niko

Greetings from Brennenburg

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! ♥♥♥♥

I know you all love this day so much, oh all you single people. Why you hatin? You should see the good things with being single! There's no one who keeps phoning you when you're kicking ass in Black Ops, and you can go have one night stands all you want and no ones feeling will be hurt! Tho I suppose it is the drama you search for, cause your lives are too boring without it. Either way.

I don't hate Valentines Day, not anymore. It's just a day when people should show their love to others or something. Actually, I'm just too lazy to care about the whole day, so it's just like any other monday or sunday or wednesday to me. But meh.

And of course, because it's valentines day the topic is love. Or friendship. or.. anything to do with the whole Love thing.

This morning I woke up and I had this... odd.. nice.. funny... feeling, I have no idea what it was but I think it was caused by this one person who had been haunting my dreams all night, haha. Really, every second of the night he was on my mind. If I was sleeping, he was in my dreams, if I was awake, I would automaticly think of him. No can do, I don't mind. So when I woke up, sometime about.. 9AM with the sun shining and the birds singing and (okay, birds singing = crows cawing......) uh idk. I just lied there, enjoying the feeling. It was so nice.. so.. .. Can a nice feeling really be described with 'it felt like there was a huge rock on me'?... It felt like ... awesome. Really, there isn't much you can say about it without sounding totally odd. 

I could just say I FELT LOVE but no I can't cause I have no idea what love feels like, and really, I don't think Love is a thing anyone can tell you how it feel.. and I suppose love feels different for everyone, so how can you be sure you feel love? I have no idea, go eHow that. Just saying.

Okay this blog entry just got much more.. out of control than it was supposed to be. WHATEVER I DO WHAT I WANT

Oh I was supposed to mention, incase you didn't notice, I changed the the old layout to this awesome new one, tho it looks like shit, I know. I'm an lazyass and I never work hard enough with anything I do.

Love can't be todays topic cause I don't knwo anything about love, laidadadaa. That's why I can mention that I'm sick! Again. And that yesterday I had a 6h long video conv. with this one dude on skype, yes. Poor guy went to sleep at 4am cause I'm such a evil person and I made him stay up that long... :'D

Hmm what else what else... It was fucking cold today. Like -30 degrees. What. The. Fuck. Finland.

Yeah and I'm tired. That's about it for today. NO, WAIT. I know you guys hate it when I never post pics, so Imma post some uguu shit I drew yesterday, cause sick otakus do draw uguu shit when they're sick.

Uguu Vallu playing Bounce and uguu Vallu being... uguu?

Uguu Vallu being bullied by a random fruidari and 

uguu Vallu after getting beaten up :'))

Okay yeah, now I'm done, hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Day and hope you got cards / flowers / candy / hugs / kisses, anything that made you happy!
Peace♥
- Niko

Life is cheesy, deal with it!

Haha, I decided I'd write something. I usually never write something when I feel like I want to write cause I know my thoughts just get mixed up and in the end nothing makes sense... Anyway so I wrote down 3 things I'll be writing about, maybe it'll work stuff out.
Let's start off with the first topic, my paper says "Life is CHEESY", okay. So... Idk what to say Haha FAIL, anyway but life is cheesy. I mean really, life is cheesy. Just think about it, all the kinda 'lame' stuff like 'yeah I wish there wasn't war in the world' and blahblah idk like.. Idk, all kinda normal so to say 'cheesy' stuff is actually what life is a lot about. I mean, the world WOULD be a better place without war. Like if everyone could love each other and stuff. Loving each other is fun. and nice. and peaceful. and shit. U know. and and. uh. Cheesy stuff like wisdoms about life andand idk EVERYTHING that people consider normal = cheesy in some grade but so true.
... I sound a bit drunk don't I? AGH whatever not like anyone would read this so yeah really, I don't care.
NEXT TOPIC! Hmmmmm. So I noticed how photographers are much more social and stuff than like.. artists that draw. And that's just stupid. But understandable. I mean artists that draw can be locked up in their own world and hide from the real one, while photographers pretty much have to be out in the real world to survive, cause you can't paint a photo. Still, it's just stupid that so many people have such low selfesteem, they should have classes or something in school on how to love yourself cause really, that will be your most useful weapon in the future; loving and trusting yourself and stuff. Fake it 'til you make it. Mia Törnblom.
And to the last topic, "How smart people are... smart, but still just humans.". Yeah. Topic describes it quite good. How smart people are smart but still just human. I mean, I always respect people older than me or people who I consider MUCH smarter than me (cause they in most cases are.....) but then after a while, I notice that hey, they're still all just human. They also make mistakes. and they don't know everything. they don't know what will happen when we die, how everything started. They might not even know how to use a goddamn phone properly. So yeah, makes them humans after all. Tho I still feel like they're a bit alien to people like me. Stupid people like me. 
Am I giving a negative pic of myself? oh no, you're wrong. I don't actually think I'm stupid li-... Okay well, most of the time, yes I do believe I'm stupid, cause I hate moments that happen if I think I know something, but I'm not 100% sure, and then I'm liek YEAH ofc it's like that ! and then someone eventually finds out or is like Hahahaha Noooo wat u smoking bro? it's absolutely NOT like that! and then I'm like ........... .__. SO YEAH to be on the safe side, I call myself stupid. Then no one can have any goddamn expectations and I can blame it all on the stupidy if something goes wrong <3 I actually love myself quite a bit cause I'm awesome like that, no lis told bro. You wanna hear something else that's also true? YOU'RE awesome. Just as awesome as I am, and I love you for that. And I think you should love yourself for that too. Cause you're simply just that awesome. 
What did I just write? Does it matter? No, I don't think so. I'll leave you bro's and hoe's for nao, go get some snacks and then go sleep. I'm so tired.
Love you guys ♥


- Niko

Games Games Games

Hello people of earth! ... Yeah, I'm back from the dead aka feeling better. Been sick for the past .. 2½ days? Had almost 40 degrees of fever, phew. Was a pain in my butt! But yeah, feeling better now, atm my tummy's just going crazy, cause of two reasons; one, I'm a woman. Two, I've been eating Mynthons all day cause my throat is so fucked and well known, Mynthons contain some stuff that eventually will have an laxative effect if you eat it too much.. so yeah.

Gah my eyes, why do people keep shutting the lights off, if it's too dark my eyes will start hurting... 

Uh so yeah.. I've finished watching both .Hack//SIGN and Panty & Stocking during these 2 days at home, so I've pretty much just watched anime all day (and night).

I wanna listen to music, I wanna listen to music! But I can't, cause I'm downstairs and my headphones are.. somewhere.. + my ears hurt so.. no headphones for me. Also I wanna draw... and play Amnesia, omnomnom. I actually could play Amnesia.. It's not like I'd be doing anything else. Oh oh, this reminds me, I've also played through Assassin's Creed, man I'm proud. Normally I never get through games cause I seriously suck at playing games and I always end up using cheats and stuff, haha. But I'm telling you, Al Mualim was truly a pain in your butt in the end... 

Lol my sister's having some kinda 'Snow Party', their chit chat is epic. Makes me laugh. Oh well, back to the gaming topic, anyone played a game called 'Oni'? Actually quite a shitty game, but it's also one of those games I've never played through without cheats, I guess I could do it someday.. 

I've just been talking about games, haha, I'm gonna end this entry with mentioning that I really should change the layout of this blog.. meh, some other day, when I feel like it. 

Bye-bee~

-Niko

Oh I haven't posted a blog entry for long (again)... I've been thinking about it but never just... actually got it done. Cause I haven't really had anything to write about, my life isn't really that interesting neither is the thoughts that's been hanging around in my head lately. Hmm, oh well.
So, holidays been and gone, I had a quite nice Christmas and new years eve, thanks for asking, but now we're back in school and well.. Nothing special. Been in school 2 days now so, haha. Tho I hate being this tired, but it's caused of the fact that I slept so much during the vacation so now I get all sleepy from my 6h sleep and 6h school routine but I guess It'll be back to normal in about a week or two. Or so I hope.
I noticed a lot of people have blogs, where they really just write what they've done that day, and at first I was like lol whaaaat, but then I realized why even lame people can have blogs, it's cause they have a life. More of a life than I at least have so.. yeah. Acceptable reason to blog I suppose.
Ugh, I don't know, starting from yesterday when I was standing in front of the mirror I had this creepy... crazy new way of looking at me.. kinda. I don't know, but it felt like I really wasn't what... I was. Like I could just remove my boobs cause they're fake anyway and take of my long blond hair cause it's just a wig. You know, the feeling that I was actually a boy, and well yeah. Known that I do believe I'd like being a boy more than being a girl this was actually the first time I've felt like ... I could actually be a boy. Uhh, I really don't know. Neither does it matter, born a woman, woman it will be. 
Somewhat my brains keep telling me I really shouldn't be writing this entry cause I'm way to tired to make sense at this moment. Oh well, I will stop here, I have 5h Umineko I'd need to finish. 
Until next time, ciao~
-Niko