I keep checking in on blogger.com, just kind of hoping that I would eventually figure something out to write about. Or figure out a way to write about something..
I believe the reason why I can't seem to get stuff done is because I keep trying to push it, cause I want it to come out so bad, but it just doesn't want to come out this way. Not now.
And it's just terribly sad. And irritating. Annoying as hell.
And I feel that if I would be to find something to write about or a way to write about something, it would still just be something I've already written about. And it just feels stupid to write another post about it... Since my thoughts around stuff haven't really changed that much.
Maybe my so called writing block is all because I haven't thought of anything new lately. I haven't thought of much at all. I'm so stuck in the same thoughts as I've been for what.. a year now? It's.. weird.
I haven't come to realize this until now, fascinating how you guys just happen to.. get to know this as I get to know this haha. Okay well anyway, I haven't come to realize that I haven't actually thought of anything new in a really really long time. My thoughts are stuck in time currently.
It's those same things that keep spinning in my head; school, future, money, job, looks, social life, family.. all that crap. And there's no new aspects to them, not even a tiny tweak. Nothing. How.. stupid.
I wonder what's keeping me so.. intact. Why am I not moving forward.. ? How come, I'm currently glued to the ground... ?
Maybe, it might have something to do with loss of old friends. I actually thought about that the other day... Friends I used to know. I.. It's weird, cause I never thought they'd be so.. important. It actually feel terribly sad when I stop and think of all the people I still could have known or got to know.. Or known better. All the amazing people I just.. lost.
Even if I have made new friends, I wouldn't really say they are my.. friends.. It's.. I do believe they could become very important to me at some point of my life, but right now.. I can't say I really trust them. In a way, I mean. Yeah. They're nice and all, but I don't really know them. At all. I know these.. things about them. About their lives, but I don't know them. And they most likely don't know me. I don't think anyone really does, haha. And I uh. Feel kind of uncomfortable around them. Cause I have somehow grown so paranoid. I truly believe they just lie to me, and that they actually hate me, think shit about me. Talk shit about me. I know some wouldn't, I just know they wouldn't. But the others.. I don't know. They scare me.
Maybe that's why I miss my old friends so much, cause I feel they know me... actually no, they probably don't since I haven't really stayed in touch with them lately so they probably remember me completely differently. And I'm kind of scared of getting in touch with them again too, cause .. maybe they're not who I thought they were?
It also scares me to think that they might not even want to know me or even remember who I am. Why should they anyway, I mean I was just a bypassing person in their lives, and almost everyone has probably met so many new people and friends after I stopped talking to them, so why on earth would they remember me, nevertheless why would they care about me. Why would they look back and think "oh well Niko sure was an awesome person, wonder what she's doing these days. wish i knew what she was doing now." They wouldn't, cause they don't need to. They don't need to find security in the past, cause it's either followed with them until this day, or they've found other friends that have followed with them until this day.
I uh. I thought I was important to them. But I don't think I am. I.. I .. I don't know.
I don't even know what's going on anymore.
- Niko
November 25, 2012
November 8, 2012
asthma
I wouldn't really want to accept the fact that I'm allergic to animals with fur, but I suppose I just have to. I'd really like to be able to have an own small dog or cat when I move away from home, but I've come to the conclusion that I probably shouldn't. I feel the way that I would ever actually be able to be close with my pet since I wouldn't be able to cudle with it, and it probably couldn't be that close to me since I would most likely not be able to even have it in my lap. I know there are some hypoallergenic pets, but I still wouldn't be symptom free, so I might as well just accept my situation.
I am currently using a Ventoline diskus to help me with my allergy problems. I do take pills to if I feel I need to, but mostly I just have hard to breathe and so I use the diskus. But I think it's really nice that I am allowed to have it. It's so nice to just be able to.. breathe again.
I didn't actually think I'd get more of it (I usually get just for the springs because of the pollen) since I don't think I'm classified as a person with asthma, but I luckily did get more. I thought the doctors would just tell us to get rid of our pets or something.
But it's really nice and comfy to be able to just take a dose whenever it gets difficult to breathe. I would normally never do anything about my unbreatheability, since I wouldn't in most cases even have ventoline and because I didn't want to be dependent on some medicine.
But I actually quite like it now.
- Niko
November 6, 2012
evo
Uh. sorry, anyone who likes reading my blog, for not being so active lately. Not at least on the.. writing part.
Writing isn't just really working out right now (just like everything else in my life hahaa.). I just haven't had anything to say... Or well that's not actually true, but I just haven't been able so.. write it out. Or even say it out loud ahahaa. ffuck. EVO. Writer's block I suppose. Like shit I've ever been good at writing anyways.. how can I possibly have writers block...
Anyway. It's NaNoWriMo. I thought about joining, but I ended up deciding no, since I have so much other stuff that needs to get done. For example an essay about Romanticism (art u kno) anndd.. well a short film we're currently planning in school.. Aaannd uuh. Other stuff I can't currently remember, haha. I probably don't even have anything else, I'm just stressed up for nothing.
Oh. Got Assassins Creed III the other day. Cooli. I also bought Brotherhood since it was on sale, yay. So far AC III hasn't been that awesome.. graphics are cool and stuff, but the story.. and the game play... mmeeh. I'm not gonna spoil the story for you, but Imma tell you this; they've changed the fighting system. And controls. Argh.
I find this extremely frustrating since I'm such a shit gamer, so it always takes me forever to learn anything at all in games really. Or then I just quit them cause I get so angry. For example Skyrim. If Vallu wouldn't have made me play it, I would never have finished it. And AC II, just about at the end I felt that I actually knew what I was doing and what buttons did what and how not to fall off the friggin roof. So. Hiphiphooray.
Blaah. Not happy with my life right now. yuck.
- Niko
OH ALSO. I put a few link in the bar to the right. It's just a couple blogs I like and.. my moms blog. So, check them out if you feel like it!
Writing isn't just really working out right now (just like everything else in my life hahaa.). I just haven't had anything to say... Or well that's not actually true, but I just haven't been able so.. write it out. Or even say it out loud ahahaa. ffuck. EVO. Writer's block I suppose. Like shit I've ever been good at writing anyways.. how can I possibly have writers block...
Anyway. It's NaNoWriMo. I thought about joining, but I ended up deciding no, since I have so much other stuff that needs to get done. For example an essay about Romanticism (art u kno) anndd.. well a short film we're currently planning in school.. Aaannd uuh. Other stuff I can't currently remember, haha. I probably don't even have anything else, I'm just stressed up for nothing.
Oh. Got Assassins Creed III the other day. Cooli. I also bought Brotherhood since it was on sale, yay. So far AC III hasn't been that awesome.. graphics are cool and stuff, but the story.. and the game play... mmeeh. I'm not gonna spoil the story for you, but Imma tell you this; they've changed the fighting system. And controls. Argh.
I find this extremely frustrating since I'm such a shit gamer, so it always takes me forever to learn anything at all in games really. Or then I just quit them cause I get so angry. For example Skyrim. If Vallu wouldn't have made me play it, I would never have finished it. And AC II, just about at the end I felt that I actually knew what I was doing and what buttons did what and how not to fall off the friggin roof. So. Hiphiphooray.
Blaah. Not happy with my life right now. yuck.
- Niko
OH ALSO. I put a few link in the bar to the right. It's just a couple blogs I like and.. my moms blog. So, check them out if you feel like it!
November 5, 2012
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October 24, 2012
October 6, 2012
whatever you like
Ooh I'm so happy I finally got done with my homework. And yeah, today was my last day of internship(?), so that's kind of sad. It's been fun and a great experience, and I've come to understand a whole bunch. Also teachers seem to have the most interesting topics to talk about.. I need to get outside more, haha. I love listening to people talking. I know I'm really boring and I don't really have much to say about anything, so I love to listen to people talk about things, whether it's just the news or something about religions or anything.. It's just very interesting to me.
Hmm. I want to mention an comic blog I just started reading. First of all, I really like the fact that there are so frequent updates. Many comic blogs are really dead, and update like.. 3 times a year haha, sounds like my blog.. Bleeeh. Anyway. I also like it because it made me laugh and a lot of the things she things about are things that I also have thought about, but her way of thinking is just.. a lot deeper. And she also has a lot of other ideas and things she thinks of that I find interesting, and as always, I think it's so much fun to get to know what someone else thinks. So yeah, check it out:
Also just a quick "review" of an animated series on Youtube, that I actually have been following for quite a while. So far she's made 1 episode, and there's more coming.
The series is called "The White Wolf With the Blue Eyes" or TW3TBE, animated by SumikoOneeSan.
I think the story is absolutely fabulous, since a lot of the animated canine series on youtube are pretty much an own version of Weed or Gin, haha. They're usually about a canine hero, who has to fight some evil creature that has either killed their family or pack or are just.. terrorizing places and stuff. But this story is so much deeper. It's kind of a fight between good and evil, but it's not just these canines fighting, it's about a virus. Rabies (with a little twist of something yet not reviled), to be more precise.
The story is about a wolf names Wolfen, he's a completely white wolf, and he's mother, Aria, is also a completely white wolf. They traveled far to get away from a raging infection that killed their whole pack and all of Aria's other pups. They get into another wolf pack's territory, where they meet a rabies infected lynx, who accuses Aria of stealing her pray and after noticing Wolfen, wants him instead of the rabbit. Luckily the wolf pack, lead by a wolf names Alpha happens to be there and rescues the poor mom and pup from this horrid beast. Aria and Wolfen are accepted into the pack, that consist mostly of wolfs that have been kicked out from their past packs.
Wolfen has seen a lot of horrible things during his life, and sometimes has nightmares about it.
It would seem Wolfen's mom has died for a reason yet unknown, but the rabies has started to plague the poor wolf pack, and Alpha is killed by Wolfen after catching Rabies, and so Wolfen is made leader. He now has to somehow save the pack and fins the answers he is searching for...
So it's a very interesting story. It's so much more.. complex than the normal canine animations on youtube, and I thinks that's really fantastic. Also she animates in quite and realistic style, I'm truly impressed by this, and it truly makes the series come to life a little more.
Have a nice weekend.
- Niko
Hmm. I want to mention an comic blog I just started reading. First of all, I really like the fact that there are so frequent updates. Many comic blogs are really dead, and update like.. 3 times a year haha, sounds like my blog.. Bleeeh. Anyway. I also like it because it made me laugh and a lot of the things she things about are things that I also have thought about, but her way of thinking is just.. a lot deeper. And she also has a lot of other ideas and things she thinks of that I find interesting, and as always, I think it's so much fun to get to know what someone else thinks. So yeah, check it out:
Also just a quick "review" of an animated series on Youtube, that I actually have been following for quite a while. So far she's made 1 episode, and there's more coming.
The series is called "The White Wolf With the Blue Eyes" or TW3TBE, animated by SumikoOneeSan.
I think the story is absolutely fabulous, since a lot of the animated canine series on youtube are pretty much an own version of Weed or Gin, haha. They're usually about a canine hero, who has to fight some evil creature that has either killed their family or pack or are just.. terrorizing places and stuff. But this story is so much deeper. It's kind of a fight between good and evil, but it's not just these canines fighting, it's about a virus. Rabies (with a little twist of something yet not reviled), to be more precise.
The story is about a wolf names Wolfen, he's a completely white wolf, and he's mother, Aria, is also a completely white wolf. They traveled far to get away from a raging infection that killed their whole pack and all of Aria's other pups. They get into another wolf pack's territory, where they meet a rabies infected lynx, who accuses Aria of stealing her pray and after noticing Wolfen, wants him instead of the rabbit. Luckily the wolf pack, lead by a wolf names Alpha happens to be there and rescues the poor mom and pup from this horrid beast. Aria and Wolfen are accepted into the pack, that consist mostly of wolfs that have been kicked out from their past packs.
Wolfen has seen a lot of horrible things during his life, and sometimes has nightmares about it.
It would seem Wolfen's mom has died for a reason yet unknown, but the rabies has started to plague the poor wolf pack, and Alpha is killed by Wolfen after catching Rabies, and so Wolfen is made leader. He now has to somehow save the pack and fins the answers he is searching for...
So it's a very interesting story. It's so much more.. complex than the normal canine animations on youtube, and I thinks that's really fantastic. Also she animates in quite and realistic style, I'm truly impressed by this, and it truly makes the series come to life a little more.
Have a nice weekend.
- Niko
October 1, 2012
eyes
I wish I could do things with my eyes closed.. I'm so tired of everything I see around me.
- Niko
- Niko
September 26, 2012
Honestly.
Blurp.
That's what my belly looks like. I'm so anxious about it right now, and I feel so extremely fat. I have so much pressure on me right now cause 1. I'm going to Greece in a couple of weeks, and I really want to feel comfortable enough to be on the beach, but as it seems to be right now, I wont be able to do shit in Greece...
2. People have always complimented me because of my belly, and I've always been so proud of the fact that I felt the way that it would be much flatter than everyone else's . But now I'm just really scared that someone will notice "ooh her belly's all fatfat now, mines soo sliiiimmmm aaahh" CAUSE that'd mean I have nothing special. I wouldn't look any special aahh. I mean, my legs are like fucking elephants and I have hips that could hug the earth,... And my face is just really ugly and worthless and very fat looking.
And it's not only my belly that's making me feel so .. fucked up, it's just like.. everything. I feel so uncomfortable with all of me. And my hair too. I'm so sick and tired of it, I'd just want to rip it of my head so I wouldn't have to think of it anymore. I have considered cutting it, but I just don't know how, since I'd probably look fucking super retarded in that hairstyle too. EVERYTHING LOOKS RETARDED ON ME buaaah. I'm so ugly.
I'm so unhappy with my current life situation. Everyday I just wish I could just.. lie down and never have to wake up to another day, just so go through the same shit again. I just want it to stop spinning and pause for a while so I can catch up and stop being this pathetic piece of crap.
- Niko
That's what my belly looks like. I'm so anxious about it right now, and I feel so extremely fat. I have so much pressure on me right now cause 1. I'm going to Greece in a couple of weeks, and I really want to feel comfortable enough to be on the beach, but as it seems to be right now, I wont be able to do shit in Greece...
2. People have always complimented me because of my belly, and I've always been so proud of the fact that I felt the way that it would be much flatter than everyone else's . But now I'm just really scared that someone will notice "ooh her belly's all fatfat now, mines soo sliiiimmmm aaahh" CAUSE that'd mean I have nothing special. I wouldn't look any special aahh. I mean, my legs are like fucking elephants and I have hips that could hug the earth,... And my face is just really ugly and worthless and very fat looking.
And it's not only my belly that's making me feel so .. fucked up, it's just like.. everything. I feel so uncomfortable with all of me. And my hair too. I'm so sick and tired of it, I'd just want to rip it of my head so I wouldn't have to think of it anymore. I have considered cutting it, but I just don't know how, since I'd probably look fucking super retarded in that hairstyle too. EVERYTHING LOOKS RETARDED ON ME buaaah. I'm so ugly.
I'm so unhappy with my current life situation. Everyday I just wish I could just.. lie down and never have to wake up to another day, just so go through the same shit again. I just want it to stop spinning and pause for a while so I can catch up and stop being this pathetic piece of crap.
- Niko
September 24, 2012
STUFF II
MOAR PICS.
Copic and ProMarker gurrl.
Uhoh. I'll write something proper when I feel like it. Every time I open my blog to do so it just feels stupid so.. yeeah. I suppose I have a blogblock haha. okay.
- Niko
September 18, 2012
STUFF
YO ahah. Not gonna write anything today. again. DEAL WITH IT. Yyeeaah.
Completed this. coolio.
Aaannd I... will show a WIP on THIS:
Completed this. coolio.
Aaannd I... will show a WIP on THIS:
AAaannnndd. Listen to this.
DAS ALL FOLKS. MYAA
- Niko
September 12, 2012
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TEA&COFFE
Herpaderpa.. I'm so lazy ahaha. Should be animating but I'm sooo lazy.. fu. So here's two pics.
- Niko
September 10, 2012
^date
I thought I might start posting a little shorter posts, since I'm able to access my blog from my phone and well, usually I would try to remember all the things I've thought of lately and then write them into one long post, but it's sooo difficult trying to remember it all so I might as well start posting anytime I think of something.
So... yeeah. Yeah.
-Niko
August 30, 2012
August 29, 2012
asdf
Holy mothers of asdf.
Hey posting from my phone, so dont excpect a pretty text with prettyness. Since I never manage to write anything correctly with my phone. ANYWAY.
I couldnt sleep so I figured I might as well update my blog, which I hadplanned on.doing for ages now so yihoo. Whadap. Not that I care ahah stfu.
I hate those nights when its really late and youre like asdf i must sleeeeep but your brain is like nope nope nope, dont want to. I MEAN. since its super late, you would actually have to sleep but I think too much to be able to just SNAP fall asleep. First I roll around inmy bed for half to a hour, tryinc to convince my brain it can do all the thinking later when imawake and then I usually spend another 15mins trying to think of nothing. It aint easy.
And right now I really wanna go sleep cause I need to get up early tomorrow and I have so much work to do and skbflsjs BUT MY BRAIN WONT LETME. Its to excited about the.new camera im getting abd feelinc too guilty about all the thing I was gonna dobut that I didnt do. I SRSLY wasted my day on playing gta that I didnt even like, sleeping and then skyping and watching tv when I wassuoposed.to work.... WHYYYYYYY i was like one dayahead ofmy project, WHICH WAS A SUPER GOOD THING, but now I have wasted that day so now I needto start stressing ooooooh
I wish it wouldnt be so hard to transport two sewing.machines to school and back home... nnnhh
Yeah maybe ill be able to sleep nao... fakin heeelll..
-Niko
August 21, 2012
July 11, 2012
Up to date
.. What even is this place... ? *dusts off some spider web*
Ye, hey. It's been a while again ahaha. I love blogging. Luckily I'm not a really famous blogger.. People would've probably already started thinking I'm dead, ahaha. Just like Raumoogle. Ohhh well.
I have no specific reasons why I haven't been blogging, but I suppose it's because I'm a lazy bastard and I don't really do anything ever, so I don't have much to write about. But today at work, I just kinda felt it might be time for me to do an update. I even took photos for my blog, but hey, fuck you guys. Ain't gonna post them ahah. Cause I don't feel like choosing from the million pics I got and then try to edit them with super amazing Paint.NET... (Go fuck yourself and your prizes Adobe. :'B) And then re-sizing them and THEN fighting with Bloggers shit picture uploader thing. Sometimes.. sometimes.
Anyway, I might as well update you guys a lil since.. last time.
(Oh god. It was like ages ago......... e__e)
ummmm okay well. First I got summer vacation, wooop. Nothing special happened, I didn't do nothing special really to celebrate it either and yyeap. Shit. Aaaand I of course didn't have any special plans for the rest of the summer vacation either ahah. So I have pretty much just been sleeping and .. sleeping.
After that there was Desucon. I thought I was gonna write something about it, but since NOTHING. AT ALL. HAPPENED. I decided not too. I didn't really meet anyone and I didn't really do anything so.. yeah.
Then we FINALLY received our longboards, awesomee! And so I rode it for sometime, until I noticed my foot will commit suicide if I do it too much, so I haven't been riding now for a while... Maybe it get's better. Also I feel like I'm so shitty that I don't really.. yeah. I fail a lot.
Then my summer vacation ended and I started working. I started work last Friday so I haven't been working too long. I'm selling strawberries, ahaha. And I think everyone should come and buy some.
I work Mo-Sat, so it's quite a lot. And I work alone annd... I get loads of money. AW YEAH. Well, I'm not paid THAT much but it's enough. So I can finally buy the Canon EOS 600D I've been wanting for a long time nao. aw yea.
So now you guys are up to date. Haha.
Does anyone feel like coming over to clean my room? I'm always so tired after work that I never get it done, tho I have to do it before Saturday so.. bleh.
mmm. I started drawing a few days ago. Haven't been drawing shit since like... forever. But I can't continue on it yet because 1. I don't have color in my printer, and I want to copy it before coloring it so I can color a copy to see how the colors work. 2. I have no idea what type of bg I'll make for it and since no one ever comments shit on my blog, besides Amanda (thanks bro) I'm not gonna bother taking a pic of it and ask you guys what type of bg I should make.
Um. On Saturday I'll go see the new Spiderman movie and then I'll just chill in Jeppis, and get back home to continue working on Sunday.. aahh yees.
Time to sleep. G'night.
Ye, hey. It's been a while again ahaha. I love blogging. Luckily I'm not a really famous blogger.. People would've probably already started thinking I'm dead, ahaha. Just like Raumoogle. Ohhh well.
I have no specific reasons why I haven't been blogging, but I suppose it's because I'm a lazy bastard and I don't really do anything ever, so I don't have much to write about. But today at work, I just kinda felt it might be time for me to do an update. I even took photos for my blog, but hey, fuck you guys. Ain't gonna post them ahah. Cause I don't feel like choosing from the million pics I got and then try to edit them with super amazing Paint.NET... (Go fuck yourself and your prizes Adobe. :'B) And then re-sizing them and THEN fighting with Bloggers shit picture uploader thing. Sometimes.. sometimes.
Anyway, I might as well update you guys a lil since.. last time.
(Oh god. It was like ages ago......... e__e)
ummmm okay well. First I got summer vacation, wooop. Nothing special happened, I didn't do nothing special really to celebrate it either and yyeap. Shit. Aaaand I of course didn't have any special plans for the rest of the summer vacation either ahah. So I have pretty much just been sleeping and .. sleeping.
After that there was Desucon. I thought I was gonna write something about it, but since NOTHING. AT ALL. HAPPENED. I decided not too. I didn't really meet anyone and I didn't really do anything so.. yeah.
Then we FINALLY received our longboards, awesomee! And so I rode it for sometime, until I noticed my foot will commit suicide if I do it too much, so I haven't been riding now for a while... Maybe it get's better. Also I feel like I'm so shitty that I don't really.. yeah. I fail a lot.
Then my summer vacation ended and I started working. I started work last Friday so I haven't been working too long. I'm selling strawberries, ahaha. And I think everyone should come and buy some.
I work Mo-Sat, so it's quite a lot. And I work alone annd... I get loads of money. AW YEAH. Well, I'm not paid THAT much but it's enough. So I can finally buy the Canon EOS 600D I've been wanting for a long time nao. aw yea.
So now you guys are up to date. Haha.
Does anyone feel like coming over to clean my room? I'm always so tired after work that I never get it done, tho I have to do it before Saturday so.. bleh.
mmm. I started drawing a few days ago. Haven't been drawing shit since like... forever. But I can't continue on it yet because 1. I don't have color in my printer, and I want to copy it before coloring it so I can color a copy to see how the colors work. 2. I have no idea what type of bg I'll make for it and since no one ever comments shit on my blog, besides Amanda (thanks bro) I'm not gonna bother taking a pic of it and ask you guys what type of bg I should make.
Um. On Saturday I'll go see the new Spiderman movie and then I'll just chill in Jeppis, and get back home to continue working on Sunday.. aahh yees.
Time to sleep. G'night.
- Niko
May 29, 2012
Ya'll cunts.
I don't really have anything of importance to say and I should actually be sleeping, but I'm writing anyway.
I was just reading through my old blog posts and started thinking of the reason why I write the way I do in my blog. It doesn't actually feel like it'd have a lot to do with who I truly am on the inside, but more of a .. copycat thing. I figured that maybe, I'm writing the way I am, cause I really really would like to be as cool as some of my friends.
I'm really really trying to write like they do, write in a cool way, about cool things so that people will think I'm cool and .. Think the way I do of my friends and other people I find cool. The reason I'm writing like this is because I also want to be popular, and respected, and be that person who all those 12 yr old look up too like oh my god, I want to be like Niko when I grow up she's so cooolll and she's sooo good at drawing woooaaah, her attitued is liek shiiitt maaan. You get what I'm trying to say here mm?
But in fact, I'm not that cool at all. I mean. Ugh. I don't think any of my friends who are cool are actually trying to be cool, they just happen to be lucky and happen to .. I don't know, not have the life of a Niko. I suppose they just.. didn't try to be anything but themselves, and they didn't crave being popular, it was just granted to them. Because they didn't crave it. Just like anything else in life.
Haha, and I know I have an absolute zero of being seen as cool considering the stuff I write and considering I'm telling you this shit right now, but since I know I'll never be cool and popular, it doesn't really matter. Blörp.
Oh another thing I've also been thinking about lately is uh, cosplay related, wooop.
I was reading this forum thread where people posted the most irritating fail things with cospaly, for example, not wearing make up, and stocking and not getting a proper wig and styling it properly, and buying cheap ebay costumes and so on. And I of course ended up thinking about the thing I always think of when I think of cosplaying; The hidden pressure of doing it and why I can't ever do it again.
It's quite interesting.. Cosplay I mean. Cause it's like this huge relief for people, it's like the only time they get to truly be them selves and so on, and yet there's so much pressure on you if your a cosplayer. You think everything will be fine even if you wig isn't perfect or there is some small detail missing, or your personality isn't perfect for the character, cause hey, everyone here's just one big family and everyone loves eatch other and woop everyone has shit in common and peace man.
Until you notice how it actually is. Cosplayers are just a sneaky bunch of bastards haha. Anyone who isn't amazingly pretty and has the beessst costume ever isn't "accepted" - they won't throw you out of the con, but they will talk and think shit of you, and nearly no one want to take a pic of you sob. Haha, I actually find it very insulting if cosplaying with someone, and I've worked my butt of on my cosplay, and still I seem to be lacking everything to be accepted. Oh cosplay, you make me feel so precious.
I personally think people should stop being such cunts and calm their tits; cosplay doesn't have to be that fucking serious. But, people have always been and probably always will be cunts so uh oh. w/e.
I suppose, to sum it up, I wasn't born to cosplay, I don't know how I ever imagined that I'd be a good cosplayer with this fat ass and fat legs and fat arms and ugly unkawaii face, and I wasn't born to be cool and popular and awesome.
I was just born to be boring shit me. woop.
- Niko
I was just reading through my old blog posts and started thinking of the reason why I write the way I do in my blog. It doesn't actually feel like it'd have a lot to do with who I truly am on the inside, but more of a .. copycat thing. I figured that maybe, I'm writing the way I am, cause I really really would like to be as cool as some of my friends.
I'm really really trying to write like they do, write in a cool way, about cool things so that people will think I'm cool and .. Think the way I do of my friends and other people I find cool. The reason I'm writing like this is because I also want to be popular, and respected, and be that person who all those 12 yr old look up too like oh my god, I want to be like Niko when I grow up she's so cooolll and she's sooo good at drawing woooaaah, her attitued is liek shiiitt maaan. You get what I'm trying to say here mm?
But in fact, I'm not that cool at all. I mean. Ugh. I don't think any of my friends who are cool are actually trying to be cool, they just happen to be lucky and happen to .. I don't know, not have the life of a Niko. I suppose they just.. didn't try to be anything but themselves, and they didn't crave being popular, it was just granted to them. Because they didn't crave it. Just like anything else in life.
Haha, and I know I have an absolute zero of being seen as cool considering the stuff I write and considering I'm telling you this shit right now, but since I know I'll never be cool and popular, it doesn't really matter. Blörp.
Oh another thing I've also been thinking about lately is uh, cosplay related, wooop.
I was reading this forum thread where people posted the most irritating fail things with cospaly, for example, not wearing make up, and stocking and not getting a proper wig and styling it properly, and buying cheap ebay costumes and so on. And I of course ended up thinking about the thing I always think of when I think of cosplaying; The hidden pressure of doing it and why I can't ever do it again.
It's quite interesting.. Cosplay I mean. Cause it's like this huge relief for people, it's like the only time they get to truly be them selves and so on, and yet there's so much pressure on you if your a cosplayer. You think everything will be fine even if you wig isn't perfect or there is some small detail missing, or your personality isn't perfect for the character, cause hey, everyone here's just one big family and everyone loves eatch other and woop everyone has shit in common and peace man.
Until you notice how it actually is. Cosplayers are just a sneaky bunch of bastards haha. Anyone who isn't amazingly pretty and has the beessst costume ever isn't "accepted" - they won't throw you out of the con, but they will talk and think shit of you, and nearly no one want to take a pic of you sob. Haha, I actually find it very insulting if cosplaying with someone, and I've worked my butt of on my cosplay, and still I seem to be lacking everything to be accepted. Oh cosplay, you make me feel so precious.
I personally think people should stop being such cunts and calm their tits; cosplay doesn't have to be that fucking serious. But, people have always been and probably always will be cunts so uh oh. w/e.
I suppose, to sum it up, I wasn't born to cosplay, I don't know how I ever imagined that I'd be a good cosplayer with this fat ass and fat legs and fat arms and ugly unkawaii face, and I wasn't born to be cool and popular and awesome.
I was just born to be boring shit me. woop.
- Niko
May 22, 2012
Pollen be gone!
Holy crap am I tired.
Pollen is currently killing the shit out of me, and I'm so fucking busy that I don't have time to sleep enough and so I'm tired as fuck all the time and yeah.. Pollen + the medication also wears me out so nopedope not fun.
And my medication's really shitty too so.. ffuu. But I might go buy some new stuff tomorrow... I just paid lots of longboard stuff for almost 300e, so I don't really feel like spending 50e on some fucking medicine, but since my asthma discus only has 8 shots left, I suppose I'll have to go get some more... aaghh.
Oh btw, about my discus, it feels as the shots are way too.. small. Like, earlier in life, I always reacted directly to the medicine and was able to breath again like.. instantly. But now it's like it takes about 50% of the breathing problems away, and then it leaves this very.. annoying I-can-kind-of-breathe-yet-not feeling, and it's not really that nice.. GIVE ME HIGHER DOSES.
I'm sorry I don't really have any pictures to show today, I haven't been taking much lately, just been stressing and trying to get shit done.. aaghh.
Uhm... Dunno what else to say haha, I don't really have much to say, but I feel like I needed to update...
Okay well, i'll soon go and try sleep... The past night have been a pain since I've had to wake up several times to take medication so that I could breathe.. fuck.
- Niko
Pollen is currently killing the shit out of me, and I'm so fucking busy that I don't have time to sleep enough and so I'm tired as fuck all the time and yeah.. Pollen + the medication also wears me out so nopedope not fun.
And my medication's really shitty too so.. ffuu. But I might go buy some new stuff tomorrow... I just paid lots of longboard stuff for almost 300e, so I don't really feel like spending 50e on some fucking medicine, but since my asthma discus only has 8 shots left, I suppose I'll have to go get some more... aaghh.
Oh btw, about my discus, it feels as the shots are way too.. small. Like, earlier in life, I always reacted directly to the medicine and was able to breath again like.. instantly. But now it's like it takes about 50% of the breathing problems away, and then it leaves this very.. annoying I-can-kind-of-breathe-yet-not feeling, and it's not really that nice.. GIVE ME HIGHER DOSES.
I'm sorry I don't really have any pictures to show today, I haven't been taking much lately, just been stressing and trying to get shit done.. aaghh.
Uhm... Dunno what else to say haha, I don't really have much to say, but I feel like I needed to update...
Okay well, i'll soon go and try sleep... The past night have been a pain since I've had to wake up several times to take medication so that I could breathe.. fuck.
- Niko
May 10, 2012
mornin
Mornin bloggin ftw !
It's raining today, but it's at least not as windy as it was yesterday! So that's good. Aaahhmm. Oh I really feel like videoblogging but since I always look so stupid doing it haha I'm not gonna.. some other time.. Not even dressed now.. DON'T GET ANY DIRTY THOUGHTS YOU, I knoooow you were gonna.. B'V
Ahmm. I took pictures of the rain again, wooh. Tho I'm not gonna post anything since I didn't get any good once really haha. uumm.. y I has nothing to saay...
Oh yesterday I had to cook and it went better than it has ever gone before, so that's good.. maybe I'm learning... <<
I think I'll just post a few pics now haha, can't come up with anything to say ..
Some fabrics I bought a few days ago
The fake Campbell shoes I bought!
And a pretty box that was sent to Canada.. Can you guess what's inside?~
- Niko
May 2, 2012
rantrantrant
Haithar.
Hmm, so today me and Vallu decided that we are apparently going to Desucon! Whoo~ Since I'll be working almost the whole summer it'll be fun to spend 3 days in Lahti so yup~ Tho I can't use any of my current cosplay's since I have pink hair and I have always used my normal blond hair when cosplaying and I don't really have any money to spend on a wig or a new costume since well, I have to pay a whole lot of Vallus part of this trip haha XD + I'm currently really messed up about what stuff I should and shouldn't buy.. I hate buying expensive stuff, it's the stupidest thing ever. It's like.. I just can't do it since you have to save up money and then it's suddenly just gone and it's just so hard to know what expensive stuff you REALLY need and what you don't and hfsuiojal I hate money and I hate not being a millionaire ... Okay, now I really feel like making a costume, CAN I DO IT IN JUST ONE MONTH Aaaa I dunno. you tell me ;__;
I hate that we humans always have these.. complexes with shit or like you know it's always like buhuh I'm so ugly I need to become prettier and then you're never really happy and it's actually really exhausting feeling this way (since I do but I still sometimes like.. don't.. Since I sometimes, when I see myself, I think like whadap with me, my legs and ass look completely normal and okay and shit, but then still, the shorts and stuff wont look good on me and then I cry sob) and I just don't kind of get why the hell it has to be this way and uh oh. And also same goes for money I mean my god, I'm obsessed with money. And I feel really really sad unless I have shit loads of money, which I never really have, but I kind of at the same time don't want to do nothign to get money and it's weird and annoying. And I just wish that I could do something I like and make money doing it BUT NOPE. I don't fucking get this world aaarrrrff, why are some so fuckign rich, why are there like .... a few famous and they're uber rich and then everyone else are just normal and poor and DA FUQ. :'B And becomign known is also so fucking impossible I want to cry. Forever letting everything out on my bloggu.
oooh it's raining outside. Tomorrow we have and English test, whoop. Prolly gonna go real shitty but I don't caare. ALSO ANOTHER THING I STARTED THINKING OF.
People being so fucking amazingly supporting aaahh yes, fuck everyone. I know I'm just the same but still, I like complaining about stuff so shadap.
Whenever you get this great idea and it's like you're like yyeeah maybe I should oor well maybe nooot.. And then there's this friend of yours who's like YEH go for it I think it's fantastic *sparkle* and you're liek oh my god yes why didn't I see it thank you labu youu yaaay and then you start building it up like fawk yyiia I can do this and then you start talking about it to other people cause you also want them to think it's the best motherfucking idea they have ever heard BUT THEN, this happens - they will tell you NOPE. You can't do that because your idea is fucking dumbshit fuck why did you even I don't get how you could possibly ever imagine THIS could be GOOD ahaha stop kidding me you ass ahahah you can't do shit you suck nothign works in this world and you'll probably die in some ditch. That's exactly what they will tell you, they will tell you you can't do anything you wanted to do and they will completely crush your dream and since you weren't on your guard, you were just wiiide open waiting to be smashed inside, they will smash you, hard and brutally. And you will be so sad and loose all hope and just run home and cry and you wont even realize it at first but then you'll be like oh my god they're so right I'll always be just an ass oh my goooddd *cry* and they will have ruined your life.
AND NO, there's no such thing as 'not giving a fuck about what other people think', cause shit just happened okay, you didn't think it was gonna happen and it did and okay, then just shit happens. MKAY.
.. There was something else I was gonna mention.. something to do with that but I can't seem to remember... oh whatever.
Oh yeah I changed the layout on my blog, whatcha think? ~ Happy I finally got it done..
Okay I'll go do something else now uh mm yeah, bai.
- Niko
Hmm, so today me and Vallu decided that we are apparently going to Desucon! Whoo~ Since I'll be working almost the whole summer it'll be fun to spend 3 days in Lahti so yup~ Tho I can't use any of my current cosplay's since I have pink hair and I have always used my normal blond hair when cosplaying and I don't really have any money to spend on a wig or a new costume since well, I have to pay a whole lot of Vallus part of this trip haha XD + I'm currently really messed up about what stuff I should and shouldn't buy.. I hate buying expensive stuff, it's the stupidest thing ever. It's like.. I just can't do it since you have to save up money and then it's suddenly just gone and it's just so hard to know what expensive stuff you REALLY need and what you don't and hfsuiojal I hate money and I hate not being a millionaire ... Okay, now I really feel like making a costume, CAN I DO IT IN JUST ONE MONTH Aaaa I dunno. you tell me ;__;
I hate that we humans always have these.. complexes with shit or like you know it's always like buhuh I'm so ugly I need to become prettier and then you're never really happy and it's actually really exhausting feeling this way (since I do but I still sometimes like.. don't.. Since I sometimes, when I see myself, I think like whadap with me, my legs and ass look completely normal and okay and shit, but then still, the shorts and stuff wont look good on me and then I cry sob) and I just don't kind of get why the hell it has to be this way and uh oh. And also same goes for money I mean my god, I'm obsessed with money. And I feel really really sad unless I have shit loads of money, which I never really have, but I kind of at the same time don't want to do nothign to get money and it's weird and annoying. And I just wish that I could do something I like and make money doing it BUT NOPE. I don't fucking get this world aaarrrrff, why are some so fuckign rich, why are there like .... a few famous and they're uber rich and then everyone else are just normal and poor and DA FUQ. :'B And becomign known is also so fucking impossible I want to cry. Forever letting everything out on my bloggu.
oooh it's raining outside. Tomorrow we have and English test, whoop. Prolly gonna go real shitty but I don't caare. ALSO ANOTHER THING I STARTED THINKING OF.
People being so fucking amazingly supporting aaahh yes, fuck everyone. I know I'm just the same but still, I like complaining about stuff so shadap.
Whenever you get this great idea and it's like you're like yyeeah maybe I should oor well maybe nooot.. And then there's this friend of yours who's like YEH go for it I think it's fantastic *sparkle* and you're liek oh my god yes why didn't I see it thank you labu youu yaaay and then you start building it up like fawk yyiia I can do this and then you start talking about it to other people cause you also want them to think it's the best motherfucking idea they have ever heard BUT THEN, this happens - they will tell you NOPE. You can't do that because your idea is fucking dumbshit fuck why did you even I don't get how you could possibly ever imagine THIS could be GOOD ahaha stop kidding me you ass ahahah you can't do shit you suck nothign works in this world and you'll probably die in some ditch. That's exactly what they will tell you, they will tell you you can't do anything you wanted to do and they will completely crush your dream and since you weren't on your guard, you were just wiiide open waiting to be smashed inside, they will smash you, hard and brutally. And you will be so sad and loose all hope and just run home and cry and you wont even realize it at first but then you'll be like oh my god they're so right I'll always be just an ass oh my goooddd *cry* and they will have ruined your life.
AND NO, there's no such thing as 'not giving a fuck about what other people think', cause shit just happened okay, you didn't think it was gonna happen and it did and okay, then just shit happens. MKAY.
.. There was something else I was gonna mention.. something to do with that but I can't seem to remember... oh whatever.
Oh yeah I changed the layout on my blog, whatcha think? ~ Happy I finally got it done..
Okay I'll go do something else now uh mm yeah, bai.
- Niko
April 26, 2012
Just an update..
Its' been a while again haha fuck my life.
Naw but I've been quite busy lately (why do I always seem to be using that excuse... ?), I had a due today for an English essay, and yesterday I was all the way to Jyväskylä to watch my brother compete in Taitaja (and to do a little shopping..) aannd uh I've been sewing a little lately too, I have some bags for Vallu that I need to get done and yeah, it's been all kind of stuff going on! + I haven't felt really like writing in my blog uh ah so yeah. But now I'm here, all that matters!
Lately I've felt like sewing cosplays, I have this serious need to do it. I mean all anime/manga/game whatever characters always have so creative outfits, they're not boring like normal human shit, and I really feel like making something awesome, and like get the wig and all and oooh so fancy! But here's the problem...
I really do not AT ALL feel like cosplaying. I don't feel like I could do it. I don't feel I'm good enough for it, I just don't have what it 'takes' to be a cosplayer.. Yet I'd really like to like.. make a cosplay for someone, style their wig, put their make up on and aaahhh everything. Then take some pretty pics of them ahah maybe film a video or something but sobsob. still... But I of course have no cosplaying friends around to make cosplays for since I really don't want to make a suit for someone that can't try it on all once in a while so I'd get all the proportions right and shit you know, so much can go wrong if you don't have the exact body as a model as they have or like gah am I making sense? Well anyway, complicated. Blöh.
I also feel really inspired to draw but haha I'm such a lazy bastard I haven't gotten around to do shit yet. I have sooo many ideas whoop. And I'm currently trying to change my style. I'm like srsly trying to force my style to change since I'm so fucking auhnka done with it. Tho forcing a change has never before worked of been a good idea but uh oh.. let's hope shit doesn't happen this time. I'm actually trying to achieve somekind of own.. nice.. style.. thingy by studying the art and style of Nana-in-the-clouds since I have always been so jealous of her since she's got this kind of realistic yet not style which I'd really want to have since it's kind of like simple yet not and it's just cool but uh I'm still trying not to completely copy her since buaah copycat, don't wanna be one but yeah..
Whaaat else.. Oh yeah uh. I don't think I ever told you guys, but my hair is pink now ahahaha. Colored it on my birthday (9th of April) and.. yeah. it's cute.
I don't think I have anything else really to say, I suppose I'll post a little pics and yyeaah. Bai.
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- Niko
April 5, 2012
pics&shit
Shiet made in school
I've been sewing a little too
The pic I'm working on tho I have no idea what color I should make the horns, eyes and hair..
New clothes from H&M! Bought a pair of shorts, a new bag, a top and some soft pannttss
Random nail art haha with my new nailpolish.
I'M NOT LYING, SEE! D:
Haha just posting pics cause I'm lazy and I don't really have nothing to say but yyeah. feels like I need to update. I dunno why blogger wont post my pics the right way even tho I saved em like that so uh oh. live with it!
The past.. 2 days I've been living on burana and mynthos, yaay. I'm a lil sick so yup, but shit's goood.
- Niko
March 19, 2012
APOLOGIES.
IF I'M FAST I might finish before we're gonna watch a movie. GOTTABEFAST.
Aaarharhar. I often have this feeling that I'm not .. worthy of speaking to some people. Like I'm probably not good enough for them as company. Like like. I often get this feeling when people are down and I'm like oh my god let me hug you and tell you shit's gon be oka- no wait I can't talk to you, you're way too cool. :'C
Cause I mean blerr I'm just a annoying teenager who probably doesn't understand shit and uh oh. Yeh. Why and how or what could I ever do to help someone I mean they probably ahve shitloadsa more experience so what would my tiny bitsy itsy thoughts help them since they probably already have thought that way and shiiet. bra.
Then also uh oh. What was I gonna say. oh my god I've been thinking so much today but now I can't remember bahuu. Well uh, apparebtly people often.. or well, not people. It's just that always when I speak of people, others seems to think they're the devil themselves. I mean the people I'm talking about, not the people I'm talking to. Since I pretty much never speak good of people, I mean. I never mention people when I'm happy about something they've done or been or whatever you know, the only times I mention people is when I'm angry, annoyed, angsty whatever negative feelings, and so ofc I will express myself about the people I'm talking about in a negative way so that people who hear me talkign will think that oh my god that person must be such a bitch! And this happens actually quite a lot.
BUT it's not that way. JUST BECAUSE I happen to be pissed at some one at the moment, doesn't mean they're the devil themselves. It doesn't mean they're fucking evil and have plans to rape and kill me. IT DOESN'T MEAN they're bad people, SRSLY GAIS. Everyone I know are good people in their own way (okayIknowaboutonethat'snotbutit'snotrelevant...) and I don't really HATE anyone just because I happen to be expressing my negative feelings about them at the moment to you. I'm just normally angry, or depressed or whatever over something going on around this person or w/e shit m'kay.
So yeah. Now you know. THE MORE YOU KNOW.
Ugh. And I really feel like I need to apologize to pretty much everyone in my past ohmygodI'vebeensuchacunt, tho I have no idea if I have changed at all ahahaha.. aha.. well anyway been treating people like shit and uh oh. NOTHING NEW. Na but yea... And there's this one person who actually uh oh, I think he had .. okay no actually I know he had a crush on me but denied it SO MUCH,causeimacunt since I was afraid of getting togetehr and i know it was wrong to just act as if I didn't get it even tho he did tell me and all but uh oh aaa sorry. And and.uh. It kinda bothers me since I have no idea what kind of a crush it was and I'm so afraid that he'd still be in pain of it and uh oh. I'm sorry. You probably know who you are so uh. sorry.
Okay well I'll go watch a movie nao with ma mama and ma sistaaa. YE.
- Niko
Aaarharhar. I often have this feeling that I'm not .. worthy of speaking to some people. Like I'm probably not good enough for them as company. Like like. I often get this feeling when people are down and I'm like oh my god let me hug you and tell you shit's gon be oka- no wait I can't talk to you, you're way too cool. :'C
Cause I mean blerr I'm just a annoying teenager who probably doesn't understand shit and uh oh. Yeh. Why and how or what could I ever do to help someone I mean they probably ahve shitloadsa more experience so what would my tiny bitsy itsy thoughts help them since they probably already have thought that way and shiiet. bra.
Then also uh oh. What was I gonna say. oh my god I've been thinking so much today but now I can't remember bahuu. Well uh, apparebtly people often.. or well, not people. It's just that always when I speak of people, others seems to think they're the devil themselves. I mean the people I'm talking about, not the people I'm talking to. Since I pretty much never speak good of people, I mean. I never mention people when I'm happy about something they've done or been or whatever you know, the only times I mention people is when I'm angry, annoyed, angsty whatever negative feelings, and so ofc I will express myself about the people I'm talking about in a negative way so that people who hear me talkign will think that oh my god that person must be such a bitch! And this happens actually quite a lot.
BUT it's not that way. JUST BECAUSE I happen to be pissed at some one at the moment, doesn't mean they're the devil themselves. It doesn't mean they're fucking evil and have plans to rape and kill me. IT DOESN'T MEAN they're bad people, SRSLY GAIS. Everyone I know are good people in their own way (okayIknowaboutonethat'snotbutit'snotrelevant...) and I don't really HATE anyone just because I happen to be expressing my negative feelings about them at the moment to you. I'm just normally angry, or depressed or whatever over something going on around this person or w/e shit m'kay.
So yeah. Now you know. THE MORE YOU KNOW.
Ugh. And I really feel like I need to apologize to pretty much everyone in my past ohmygodI'vebeensuchacunt, tho I have no idea if I have changed at all ahahaha.. aha.. well anyway been treating people like shit and uh oh. NOTHING NEW. Na but yea... And there's this one person who actually uh oh, I think he had .. okay no actually I know he had a crush on me but denied it SO MUCH,
Okay well I'll go watch a movie nao with ma mama and ma sistaaa. YE.
- Niko
March 18, 2012
serious coffee and tea business
HAR HI.
Today I want to bring up yet another very important topic.
COFFEE AND TEA.
yup folks.
I can't stand any of these two substances, even tho I would love to cause... they smell like heaven ifljsl.
SRSLY THO. I don't understand wwhy that dark brown liquid has to be so.. sour. WHY. I mean, it tastes just absolutely horrifying and and, it's so STRONG. My belly can't take it.
I don't understand how people can drink it, and think it's good. Tho, I'd love to be one of them. I love the smell of coffee and it's as deceiving as always when you try it. It's like YEAH, this smells good how could it ever taste ba- KILL ME NOW. BLARRgggHHHgdjsdkd and then I die. ö_ö SERIOUS BUSINESS IS SERIOUS.
And same goes for tea. ;_; It's like oh my god there's so many tea sorts that smell like nomnomnom but not a single one of them actually taste good. SOB. I've only tasted one tea so far that has been kind of drinkable maybe somtimes. It's some kinda berry tea and uh yeah.
BUT FOR EXAMPLE ginger or whatever tea, SMELLS SO AMAZING, but tastes so bad. so bad. so bad. WWHHYY.
Uh oh. and chocolate coffee. Well you can already guess but yeah, I bought it since it smelled NOM even outside the package and I took it home and I was like ohmygodiwillneveragainhavetoeatchocolate YAAY. But I was so wrong. i would have top eat so much more chocolate not to die of the horrible coffee taste. It didn't taste chocolate really at all. Tho my mom (who drinks coffee at a normal basis) said there was a strong taste of chocolate involved. Tho I didn't taste shit of that chocolate. I could smell it, but not taste it :'C
Can't someone just invent a good smelling and TASTING coffee, since I really want to drink coffee..
Okay I'll go cry over my back pains now BAI
- Niko
Today I want to bring up yet another very important topic.
COFFEE AND TEA.
yup folks.
I can't stand any of these two substances, even tho I would love to cause... they smell like heaven ifljsl.
SRSLY THO. I don't understand wwhy that dark brown liquid has to be so.. sour. WHY. I mean, it tastes just absolutely horrifying and and, it's so STRONG. My belly can't take it.
I don't understand how people can drink it, and think it's good. Tho, I'd love to be one of them. I love the smell of coffee and it's as deceiving as always when you try it. It's like YEAH, this smells good how could it ever taste ba- KILL ME NOW. BLARRgggHHHgdjsdkd and then I die. ö_ö SERIOUS BUSINESS IS SERIOUS.
And same goes for tea. ;_; It's like oh my god there's so many tea sorts that smell like nomnomnom but not a single one of them actually taste good. SOB. I've only tasted one tea so far that has been kind of drinkable maybe somtimes. It's some kinda berry tea and uh yeah.
BUT FOR EXAMPLE ginger or whatever tea, SMELLS SO AMAZING, but tastes so bad. so bad. so bad. WWHHYY.
Uh oh. and chocolate coffee. Well you can already guess but yeah, I bought it since it smelled NOM even outside the package and I took it home and I was like ohmygodiwillneveragainhavetoeatchocolate YAAY. But I was so wrong. i would have top eat so much more chocolate not to die of the horrible coffee taste. It didn't taste chocolate really at all. Tho my mom (who drinks coffee at a normal basis) said there was a strong taste of chocolate involved. Tho I didn't taste shit of that chocolate. I could smell it, but not taste it :'C
Can't someone just invent a good smelling and TASTING coffee, since I really want to drink coffee..
Okay I'll go cry over my back pains now BAI
- Niko
March 16, 2012
BALLS.MSWMM
Urk. FFF. Fuckyeah For Fridays.
No srsly tho, I'm so happy this week is over since oh my God it's been horrible. I suppose I told you earlier bout the animation project thingy. Well, I was still working on putting shit together this morning and aaaagh my eyes are currently hurting and I don't ever wanna animate sobsob. Nah, but yeah. I kept working thinking I could do it til' tomorrow evening. I kept thinking I CAN'T FAIL THIS SHIT and guess if I did?
Frankly, yes, I did. Luckily tho, we don't have that ... whatever exhibition yet, so it didnät have to be 100% complete yet, but I'm still sad and feel like I have failed everything in life. Thus I shall just sleep (and probably eat............ ;_;) my sadness away this weekend, woop.
And I finally have time to write in my blog, fuck yeah. I have seriously been so fucking busy aaarrh.
Oh well. uh. I don't think this update will really be that proper but some pics and shiet.¨
Okay ahaha. The two first pics are fo how fucking comfortably I work on my computer when I have other work taped down to the table goddamit. My tabel is so small I can impossibly compute and paint at the same time :'B
And the second one is the dragon I'm currently working on, oh my god I want to have the time to continue painting it since I want to finish it sooo badly. Too bad I can't bring it to Vallu's since.. it's taped to the table and yeh. But hopefully on monday.. I can spend all day chilling since I won't have singing lessons then and yaay.
Uh what else.. I don't think anything else has really been going on uhoh. My hair feels like tentacles.. I need to brush it.
Okay well I'll continue listening to Oren Lavie and get done for school and you guys, have a great weekend!
- Niko
March 10, 2012
PRO on crastinating.
AgagaGugu. I don't really feel like writing since I don't really have anything to write about, except boring shit, but I really feel like procrastinating, and that's exactly what I'm doing atm, ahahahaha. I will have nightmares. HNG.
Uhuh. I have always thought people take compliments as I do - they're just like.. words. Like they don't mean shit, it doesn't make you feel any different or better or anything if someone tells you some compliment it's like.. "You're pretty!", it doesn't make me feel pretty, it's just something someone says and something I kind of feel like I just HAVE TO answer thanks too to be polite you know, but in your head you're actually just thinking "Yea, but that's just what you think.." or "Pppppft, ass." u know. You are just completely denying it and like yeah. I have always thought EVERYONE always thinks like that when getting compliments. It felt like actually being able to take a compliment just is something I've made up in my head, like that there's actually people who get happy from getting compliments and who actually feel cute or pretty or whatever you tell 'em. But I actually learned yesterday that apparently, some people do take compliments the way I think it should be and it was just.. cool. Since I didn't think that shit actually happened so haha, it was nice. I think I'll start giving more compliments to people :')
We went shopping today. I bought some fabric for a b-day present I'm making, a pair of like.. short.. boots.. ? I have no idea what they're actually called, but they look really adorable.. :'D And I finally got myself a pair of those shorts thingies with the suspenders/braces whatever, you know. Been wanting a pair for about a year but I haven't dared try them on since I'm afraid my butt's too big.. Haha.
I also bought Pan's Labyrinth, the movie you know, haven't watched it yet but I hope it's good!
I also bought Pan's Labyrinth, the movie you know, haven't watched it yet but I hope it's good!
I also received the manga books I bought a few weeks ago; Hischool of the Dead 4-5 ~ I decided I'd continue collecting one or two manga series, so I decided I'd go with HOTD and Higurashi.. probably. So yyuupp.
Uh oh. We have a project going on in school atm, it's like.. we could either make an animation, a short film, a photo series or.. uh. whatever really, and yeah. I decided to make an animation since I've had this must to animate for so long, and I had first planned on being by myself but then Laura came up with and animation idea and so I paired up with her haha. Would've been so much easier to make an animation by my own since no one would have expectations and ahaha it wouldn't necessary have to get done HAHA. But now I feel kind of a lot of pressure.. XDD oh well, I'll see what I can make of it.. I think it's going to be short as fuck since we have like.. next week still time to make it or something.. someone said something about that we didn't have to finish it to Friday but since I was asleep I have no idea what they said.. aaahh. Oh me.
Uh oh. We have a project going on in school atm, it's like.. we could either make an animation, a short film, a photo series or.. uh. whatever really, and yeah. I decided to make an animation since I've had this must to animate for so long, and I had first planned on being by myself but then Laura came up with and animation idea and so I paired up with her haha. Would've been so much easier to make an animation by my own since no one would have expectations and ahaha it wouldn't necessary have to get done HAHA. But now I feel kind of a lot of pressure.. XDD oh well, I'll see what I can make of it.. I think it's going to be short as fuck since we have like.. next week still time to make it or something.. someone said something about that we didn't have to finish it to Friday but since I was asleep I have no idea what they said.. aaahh. Oh me.
Aaaand, I really want to continue on that dragon pic of mine aaaah. I want to get it done cause I want to make it amazinguuuu. I think that's what I'll do after this muahahaha.
Oh well. I'm done. BAI.
- Niko
ps. Blogger has the loveliest text editor thingy.... GAH. I fucking hate this shit. Was gonna post another pic but it just wont go where it's supposed to so fuck that.
March 5, 2012
OREGON
Ohai!
Today has been slightly stressy, I'm tired as fuck too so yuppieeeyeeaah!
But it's been quite a nice day, since the sun's been shining and it's been waaarm and shiet.
Today I've been to school, and then we had PE annnd yeah. It's always nice to have a little shorter days on mondays~ Oh and we got some homework where we're like supposed to uh, write how much we sleep, what we eat and how much me exercise a day for a week and then we have to analyse how we.. felt. Or like, yeah, if shit could be better and stuff. I think it's a really nice thing so yyaay~
Anyway, after school I visited duh store, had to get some milk and cheese and shiet, nomnom. And when I got home I cleaned my room. and finally got rid of all the dust and shit on my make up table aaaaarh, can't stand it. And I cleaned my mirrors. And woops, I forgot the windows and the other mirror.. I'll do it tomorrow..
I went on a walk with mah dawg and then I went to singing class/lessons, w/e, and next time I'll be having it for a whole hour since I switched with another person who's also at the singin' lessons uh cause she couldn't go next time and this way she'll not miss anything and yuppie, cool.
My teacher also asked me if I wanted to sing on this.. thing she has in April. Like. On stage. In front of people. I'M LIKE HELL NAW. But then I started thinking and now I can't decide whether I want to or not, but uh. We'll have to see.
AND OH I'm so angry at u gais, y doesn't anyone on the internet has music sheets or chords or whatever to "Run, wolf warrior, run" by Yoko Kanno Aaa I want it cause I wanna sing it ;_; ANYONE!?
Uuuhh. YEAH. I'm currently working on a new piece, worst timing tho sobsob since I'll soon have to start animating, and I just got a shit loads of other things I'd need to do too, so I wont really have time to work on it but uuh. It's a pic of a dragon and I really like it.. and I really wanna continue it.. :'D I hope I'll be able to fit in some time for the coloring.. mmmh. Could make another youtube vid too.. mmmhh. YEAH.
yay for crappy phone pics..
Umum. I think that's about it.
and omagad Iactuallypostedsomethingonthatforuman KYAA!~
- Niko
Today has been slightly stressy, I'm tired as fuck too so yuppieeeyeeaah!
But it's been quite a nice day, since the sun's been shining and it's been waaarm and shiet.
Today I've been to school, and then we had PE annnd yeah. It's always nice to have a little shorter days on mondays~ Oh and we got some homework where we're like supposed to uh, write how much we sleep, what we eat and how much me exercise a day for a week and then we have to analyse how we.. felt. Or like, yeah, if shit could be better and stuff. I think it's a really nice thing so yyaay~
Anyway, after school I visited duh store, had to get some milk and cheese and shiet, nomnom. And when I got home I cleaned my room. and finally got rid of all the dust and shit on my make up table aaaaarh, can't stand it. And I cleaned my mirrors. And woops, I forgot the windows and the other mirror.. I'll do it tomorrow..
I went on a walk with mah dawg and then I went to singing class/lessons, w/e, and next time I'll be having it for a whole hour since I switched with another person who's also at the singin' lessons uh cause she couldn't go next time and this way she'll not miss anything and yuppie, cool.
My teacher also asked me if I wanted to sing on this.. thing she has in April. Like. On stage. In front of people. I'M LIKE HELL NAW. But then I started thinking and now I can't decide whether I want to or not, but uh. We'll have to see.
AND OH I'm so angry at u gais, y doesn't anyone on the internet has music sheets or chords or whatever to "Run, wolf warrior, run" by Yoko Kanno Aaa I want it cause I wanna sing it ;_; ANYONE!?
Uuuhh. YEAH. I'm currently working on a new piece, worst timing tho sobsob since I'll soon have to start animating, and I just got a shit loads of other things I'd need to do too, so I wont really have time to work on it but uuh. It's a pic of a dragon and I really like it.. and I really wanna continue it.. :'D I hope I'll be able to fit in some time for the coloring.. mmmh. Could make another youtube vid too.. mmmhh. YEAH.
Umum. I think that's about it.
and omagad Iactuallypostedsomethingonthatforuman KYAA!~
- Niko
March 3, 2012
ventilate-
Uh. I don't understand people. I don't get how they can be so.. open. on the internet.
I MEAN. For me, it's a fucking impossibility, and it kinda feels like I might've misunderstood the internet since uh, it's supposed to be a place where shy people can go say shit to people cause it's the internet and the real world BUT IT'S NOT. I mean.
Even if it IS the internet, the people in front of that screen of theirs ARE STILL PEOPLE and thus, I think the situation is kind of the same as real life, or? I mean, they're still them.. they still probably react and and uh. Think as they would irl. I mean. I mean. They don't .. UH.
People are just so cool. ;_; I cannot. and I just can't understand how these "I'm so shy uguu" 12 year ols DARE GO TALK to people like Tydii or Dethra or or.. JEN oror.. someone cool, and still be cool about it and HOW THE HELL they dare post in a FORUM filled with these amazing animal artist and and and I DON'T SEE IT. Still they're like uhuh I don't dare say hi to you and I'm not currently bashing anyone tho it undoubtedly kinda sounds so BUT YOU ARE GETTING ME WRONG. I just feel.. anxious. Scared. Frustrated. retarded. ö___ö HERP.
Unhh. I joined a forum called Tassutopia, and another one called Ketunleipä recently and PPPPFF- I can't. I have made ONE post in each one of them and I have been shitting my pants sujknfk I can't. I- I often find shit I'd like to post an reply to but I CAN'T my whole body trembles in shame, BEFORE I'VE EVEN SAID ANYTHING. Iiiiiii- I can just imagine how.. uh. .. they'd hate me. How they'd think I'm odd cause I'm.. me. I'm not completely Finnish. I'm not Swedish either. I'm not cool. I'm not mature for my age. HERPHERP I'm just no one, just some one and they'd hate me. They'd hate me and eat me and have me for brunch. I'm so afraid of them ;__;
aaarr. Calm down.
Uhoh. I feel kinda lonely. Like. I feel I have no one really to talk too. I admit it. I feel aaaa. No one ever says shit to me. I feel horrible. I suhjkfs
And I feel like the worst friend ever ever and ever. lived. ever. Don't care about my English atm, I'm not even trying since I'm emotional. ahaha. sob.
yeh but yeh, I feel like I'm the worst friend ever since it feels like I fucking abandon everyoneee. Like. I just leave all my friends to rot. Tho I. I- I kinda feel like they don't even care so uh oh. FRIENDS, fucking tell me when you care cause I dunno when you do uhuhuhuh I don't know what it's supposed to be like when a friend cares aaaa ;_; I- II.. HHng. I dunno even who i can count as a friend anymore. I.. can't AAAAAAAAAAgfhjakljö pl. I need someone on the interwebs to talk to since I don't like talking irl and and Vallu doesn't like to talk on msn since it's kinda dead and I mean I talk about those most deep shit with her and stuff irl but I want to have someone on the interwebs to just uhoh. I dunno. Chat with. Think with. Gahh.
VALLU I LABU YOU we btw had our first year anniversary monday this week so yay for us, I love you hun<3
Uuuuh. yeah.
I hate how discriminating shiet's on Fiesta. Uh. I mean. If you play as anything else than a cleric, people will peolly just hate you and want you dead. If you play like a cleric, people just want to be with you cause you're a cleric, cause you can heal and shti AND I FEEL, that's kinda unfair. being treated like shit just cause you don't have the ability to restorate. Not fair people. :'B I get so sad when I play as and archer and jkbs,dalk people never want me in their parties. I DON'T SUCK just ebcause I'm and archer ;__; ARCHER'S ARE COOL shaadaap. I mean, why would they create a character if they'd be completely worthless. Shut it, I'm good in my own way. You just don't realize.
Done ranting.
- Niko
I MEAN. For me, it's a fucking impossibility, and it kinda feels like I might've misunderstood the internet since uh, it's supposed to be a place where shy people can go say shit to people cause it's the internet and the real world BUT IT'S NOT. I mean.
Even if it IS the internet, the people in front of that screen of theirs ARE STILL PEOPLE and thus, I think the situation is kind of the same as real life, or? I mean, they're still them.. they still probably react and and uh. Think as they would irl. I mean. I mean. They don't .. UH.
People are just so cool. ;_; I cannot. and I just can't understand how these "I'm so shy uguu" 12 year ols DARE GO TALK to people like Tydii or Dethra or or.. JEN oror.. someone cool, and still be cool about it and HOW THE HELL they dare post in a FORUM filled with these amazing animal artist and and and I DON'T SEE IT. Still they're like uhuh I don't dare say hi to you and I'm not currently bashing anyone tho it undoubtedly kinda sounds so BUT YOU ARE GETTING ME WRONG. I just feel.. anxious. Scared. Frustrated. retarded. ö___ö HERP.
Unhh. I joined a forum called Tassutopia, and another one called Ketunleipä recently and PPPPFF- I can't. I have made ONE post in each one of them and I have been shitting my pants sujknfk I can't. I- I often find shit I'd like to post an reply to but I CAN'T my whole body trembles in shame, BEFORE I'VE EVEN SAID ANYTHING. Iiiiiii- I can just imagine how.. uh. .. they'd hate me. How they'd think I'm odd cause I'm.. me. I'm not completely Finnish. I'm not Swedish either. I'm not cool. I'm not mature for my age. HERPHERP I'm just no one, just some one and they'd hate me. They'd hate me and eat me and have me for brunch. I'm so afraid of them ;__;
aaarr. Calm down.
Uhoh. I feel kinda lonely. Like. I feel I have no one really to talk too. I admit it. I feel aaaa. No one ever says shit to me. I feel horrible. I suhjkfs
And I feel like the worst friend ever ever and ever. lived. ever. Don't care about my English atm, I'm not even trying since I'm emotional. ahaha. sob.
yeh but yeh, I feel like I'm the worst friend ever since it feels like I fucking abandon everyoneee. Like. I just leave all my friends to rot. Tho I. I- I kinda feel like they don't even care so uh oh. FRIENDS, fucking tell me when you care cause I dunno when you do uhuhuhuh I don't know what it's supposed to be like when a friend cares aaaa ;_; I- II.. HHng. I dunno even who i can count as a friend anymore. I.. can't AAAAAAAAAAgfhjakljö pl. I need someone on the interwebs to talk to since I don't like talking irl and and Vallu doesn't like to talk on msn since it's kinda dead and I mean I talk about those most deep shit with her and stuff irl but I want to have someone on the interwebs to just uhoh. I dunno. Chat with. Think with. Gahh.
VALLU I LABU YOU we btw had our first year anniversary monday this week so yay for us, I love you hun<3
Uuuuh. yeah.
I hate how discriminating shiet's on Fiesta. Uh. I mean. If you play as anything else than a cleric, people will peolly just hate you and want you dead. If you play like a cleric, people just want to be with you cause you're a cleric, cause you can heal and shti AND I FEEL, that's kinda unfair. being treated like shit just cause you don't have the ability to restorate. Not fair people. :'B I get so sad when I play as and archer and jkbs,dalk people never want me in their parties. I DON'T SUCK just ebcause I'm and archer ;__; ARCHER'S ARE COOL shaadaap. I mean, why would they create a character if they'd be completely worthless. Shut it, I'm good in my own way. You just don't realize.
Done ranting.
- Niko
February 20, 2012
shoop da woop
Hng. I haven't been writing for a while since I found my diary, and decided to finally fucking fill it up so that I can start using my new one, woop. But it's still not filled so uh. yeah.
Having a bad time again, annoying. I feel like shit and shit's shit and I'm tired. I just want to be okay. Hukejfsl
Living is such a pain, most of the time.
Waking up in the morning, trying to get done for school in time, but still end up coming late, never do shit you'd need to do and then hate yourself for being so stupid. Can I please just be alone for sometime..
aaaahhh hell. I wish I could listen to music as loud as I please to .. listen the pain away without killing my ears. fml
Picture post from the past few weeks..
Yay, got the lens cap for my moms old camera~ Thanks Johsu~
Unboxing my PS3
More unboxing, and a pic of the PS3 and Skyrim that I also recently bought.
Unhealthy shiet, u don't even wanna.
A charcoal pic I made in school last week. It's kinda big aandd. uh. yeh. It's a Tiger, not a bear. sob.
Having a bad time again, annoying. I feel like shit and shit's shit and I'm tired. I just want to be okay. Hukejfsl
Living is such a pain, most of the time.
Waking up in the morning, trying to get done for school in time, but still end up coming late, never do shit you'd need to do and then hate yourself for being so stupid. Can I please just be alone for sometime..
aaaahhh hell. I wish I could listen to music as loud as I please to .. listen the pain away without killing my ears. fml
Picture post from the past few weeks..
Yay, got the lens cap for my moms old camera~ Thanks Johsu~
Unboxing my PS3
More unboxing, and a pic of the PS3 and Skyrim that I also recently bought.
Unhealthy shiet, u don't even wanna.
A charcoal pic I made in school last week. It's kinda big aandd. uh. yeh. It's a Tiger, not a bear. sob.
I dunno what more o write, just felt like I need to get shit posted or I'll get even angstier about that.. Now I'll continue doing something. I really want to eat again. sobsob.
- Niko
February 16, 2012
lalalalaa~~~~ av nån random person som totally kanske e Hanna.
jag har funderat på de där med fb, funderade om jag skulle vara trevligare uttan det, funderar på om hur jag better mej där påvärkar hur jag better mej på riktigt, men så va jag nog säkert elak före jag hadde facebook också, så nu e jag igen inne på att det är människor som dett är fel på, mina gamla vänner, folk som tycker det är en bra ide att tatuera tribals vi nån bullshit tatuerare .där är dert igen :D le fuuuu nu ska ja gå o va snäll
February 2, 2012
February 1, 2012
Annoying.
Gh. I feel so annoyed. and I want to be sick tomorrow. I don't want to need to go to school. I have such school.. whatever it's called, atm. Like. I atm never feel like going to school, not even when I've had enough sleep.
I have a bit of a fever today, and I hope it'll keep til tomorrow, ahhahaha. I love fever. Oh all the things I could do at home. I love home. I love not needing to do anything.
Uh oh. Today in school we had a veery creative day, we watched MLP, Powerpuff Girls and Tokyo Mew Mew! Tho we did do some drawing and paining ... NOT KIDDING. Ahaha, no but it was a very lazy day.
And I was supposed to clean my room today, but I didn't. I'm tired. And I made really disgusting Onigiris. never again.
Uh oh. I don't really have anything proper to say cause I'm tired and I just want to... ijfslkndkfnbjkbdlkNAJK, for a while. PLEASE. AGH.
OHOH btw, Minty's having this cool GIVEAWAY and you guys should totally check it out! She's giving away LOADS of nail stuff, some jewelry, fake eyelashes .. etc. there's a whole bunch'a different things so, I think you should just take a look yourself, and maybe even join the giveaway! Who knows!
I also have a link in the sidebar if you want to check it out later and don't wanna have to scroll down to this post.. :''3
YUP.
- Niko
I have a bit of a fever today, and I hope it'll keep til tomorrow, ahhahaha. I love fever. Oh all the things I could do at home. I love home. I love not needing to do anything.
Uh oh. Today in school we had a veery creative day, we watched MLP, Powerpuff Girls and Tokyo Mew Mew! Tho we did do some drawing and paining ... NOT KIDDING. Ahaha, no but it was a very lazy day.
And I was supposed to clean my room today, but I didn't. I'm tired. And I made really disgusting Onigiris. never again.
Uh oh. I don't really have anything proper to say cause I'm tired and I just want to... ijfslkndkfnbjkbdlkNAJK, for a while. PLEASE. AGH.
OHOH btw, Minty's having this cool GIVEAWAY and you guys should totally check it out! She's giving away LOADS of nail stuff, some jewelry, fake eyelashes .. etc. there's a whole bunch'a different things so, I think you should just take a look yourself, and maybe even join the giveaway! Who knows!
I also have a link in the sidebar if you want to check it out later and don't wanna have to scroll down to this post.. :''3
YUP.
- Niko
January 30, 2012
FRYFRYFRY YOUR BOAT
A few things you might want to take time to think about before taking a single step into Finland;
If you have plans on moving to Finland, STOP. That'll be the stupidest choice that you'll ever make in your whole entire life. Unless you fucking love COLD WINTERS and snow. And if you have plans on comic here for vacation, PLEASE. Wait til summer.
You see, we have lovely COLD LONG DARK WINTERS around here with LOADS OF SNOW. It's so cold, you'll most definitely freeze your toes and fingers off, you might even freeze your legs, butt, arms and face off, and in some extreme cases, you'll die. Also, breathing during winter is impossible. The winter landscape might seem pretty and harmless with it's oh so white and sparkly cold snow and it's pretty just-a-few-hours-visible sun (which is also cold), but I'll tell you, if you try to breathe with your nose, it will hurt shit loads and it will probably die and fall off. And if you try breathing with your mouth, your throat will commit suicide, your tootsies (aka teeth) will start hurting cause they're freezing, and you'll probably die.
So don't come to Finland during winter. It's trolling you. (lol no I'm not serious. But it's cold, not kidding.)
FOOOK YIA, got mai PS3 money back. Uh yeah, it's been shit loads of shit going on with the ps3 seller.. I never received my PS3, and it took quite long before I got my money back, but I got it in the end, and I'm happy. We're gonna go buy a completely new ps3 from a store.. sometime.. when I got the money... *sobpoorbastardsob* Ahaha but yeah.
Uhh, I'm working on this new vid for my youtube account, but it's being quite a bitch since I don't dare download any video editing program, and the only "good one" I found was movie maker, who decides to cut up my 4½h material into small 5sec-1min clips, so.. uh. I have to put all those smaaall pieces together, then speed them up one by one cause movie maker can't mark them all and add speed up to them so, whoop. It's a whole lot of work in this shiet.
I suppose I'll try to get the Vegas trail and see if I can make shit happen with it... prolly not ahaha. fml.
Oh, I planned to maybe livestream later on today when I'm working on the new layout for da blogguu, will prolly put a link at my deviantart and yeah, you can go check it out if you like to. Usually there's not many around, I remember Tydii used to be there and such, but we'll see. :') I just thought I might as well do that instead, since recording my screen isn't anything my comp really likes + I hate video editing. So fuck yeah for live shit.
Uh oh, I should probably go now! Got my singing lessons, but keep and eye on my dev account so that you can all stalk me trying to make art.. :'''''''D
k, bye.
If you have plans on moving to Finland, STOP. That'll be the stupidest choice that you'll ever make in your whole entire life. Unless you fucking love COLD WINTERS and snow. And if you have plans on comic here for vacation, PLEASE. Wait til summer.
You see, we have lovely COLD LONG DARK WINTERS around here with LOADS OF SNOW. It's so cold, you'll most definitely freeze your toes and fingers off, you might even freeze your legs, butt, arms and face off, and in some extreme cases, you'll die. Also, breathing during winter is impossible. The winter landscape might seem pretty and harmless with it's oh so white and sparkly cold snow and it's pretty just-a-few-hours-visible sun (which is also cold), but I'll tell you, if you try to breathe with your nose, it will hurt shit loads and it will probably die and fall off. And if you try breathing with your mouth, your throat will commit suicide, your tootsies (aka teeth) will start hurting cause they're freezing, and you'll probably die.
So don't come to Finland during winter. It's trolling you. (lol no I'm not serious. But it's cold, not kidding.)
FOOOK YIA, got mai PS3 money back. Uh yeah, it's been shit loads of shit going on with the ps3 seller.. I never received my PS3, and it took quite long before I got my money back, but I got it in the end, and I'm happy. We're gonna go buy a completely new ps3 from a store.. sometime.. when I got the money... *sobpoorbastardsob* Ahaha but yeah.
Uhh, I'm working on this new vid for my youtube account, but it's being quite a bitch since I don't dare download any video editing program, and the only "good one" I found was movie maker, who decides to cut up my 4½h material into small 5sec-1min clips, so.. uh. I have to put all those smaaall pieces together, then speed them up one by one cause movie maker can't mark them all and add speed up to them so, whoop. It's a whole lot of work in this shiet.
I suppose I'll try to get the Vegas trail and see if I can make shit happen with it... prolly not ahaha. fml.
Oh, I planned to maybe livestream later on today when I'm working on the new layout for da blogguu, will prolly put a link at my deviantart and yeah, you can go check it out if you like to. Usually there's not many around, I remember Tydii used to be there and such, but we'll see. :') I just thought I might as well do that instead, since recording my screen isn't anything my comp really likes + I hate video editing. So fuck yeah for live shit.
Uh oh, I should probably go now! Got my singing lessons, but keep and eye on my dev account so that you can all stalk me trying to make art.. :'''''''D
k, bye.
- Niko
January 26, 2012
BANANA YOGHURT
I was gonna update yesterday but then I just.. didn't ahahahahaha. Fuck yoouuu!
Naa, I just did so much other shit yesterday. I went to school, I painted, I drove a car, I went to the sauna.. you know, stuff. But yeah, updating now, fook yia.
Today I didn't really know what to wear, I knew I wanted to wear my pink pants cause I felt ridiculous, and I felt like I wanted to dress however I wanted, which usually end up with all my clothes lying around the floor, me crying cause I feel uncomfy and ugly in everything and then I just put on something really lame. BUT, not today! Today I actually managed to make an outfit I thought looked 50% ridiculous and 50% cute, just what I wanted! ... Now my cat's staring at my computer screen.. stalker.
Anyway! I also took a veeeery pretty pic and edited it with my phone, wootwoot. So yeah, sorry for the quality and shit...
Naa, I just did so much other shit yesterday. I went to school, I painted, I drove a car, I went to the sauna.. you know, stuff. But yeah, updating now, fook yia.
Today I didn't really know what to wear, I knew I wanted to wear my pink pants cause I felt ridiculous, and I felt like I wanted to dress however I wanted, which usually end up with all my clothes lying around the floor, me crying cause I feel uncomfy and ugly in everything and then I just put on something really lame. BUT, not today! Today I actually managed to make an outfit I thought looked 50% ridiculous and 50% cute, just what I wanted! ... Now my cat's staring at my computer screen.. stalker.
Anyway! I also took a veeeery pretty pic and edited it with my phone, wootwoot. So yeah, sorry for the quality and shit...
I have finally started working on that art trade I should have started working on long ago, lazy me. I just felt so guilty I had to start doing something. And so far it looks.. good. I feel like I've lately actually learned stuff while drawing, since I have used reference pictures (which I normally never used to do!) and actually paid more attention to things such as anatomy (tho I'm sure it's still up the ass, muehehe. I'm planning on buying an anatomy book since I don't own one and I think every artist should have a good anatomy book!) and other small things that I'd normally just.. do in whatever way I felt like doing them. For example; there's these stairs in the picture I'm currently working on, and I have never really drawn stairs before, so I studied the shape of the stairs (they turn a bit) from different angles, so I could somehow figure out what they'd look like when drawn the way I wanted them to be. I also searched the internet for inspiration when I did the stair rail, which I though was very wise of me. So yeah, stuff like that! And I'm just very proud of myself since I feel like I've finally starting to make some progress :'3
Umm.. Yeah, I drove a car yesterday, since I'll turn 18 next year, and start training for my drivers license at the end of this year, my dad and I though we might as well just slowly get me used to the car and what it's like before starting to train for the actual license, since I think I'll have a whole lot other things to think of while driving than just the breaks and shit, so yeah. We drove on this yard, no roads involved, and.. yeah. It was much easier than I had imagined, even if I just drove in the first .. gear? (vaihde) It wasn't really any different from driving a moped so I think I might have easier with the driving since I know how to drive moped, which is great~
I feel like I always just write these lame ass text but ahaha, I think a lot of stuff, but never when writing in my blog so I never really.. capture the thought lol. Anyway, I'll leave you for now.
- Niko
Umm.. Yeah, I drove a car yesterday, since I'll turn 18 next year, and start training for my drivers license at the end of this year, my dad and I though we might as well just slowly get me used to the car and what it's like before starting to train for the actual license, since I think I'll have a whole lot other things to think of while driving than just the breaks and shit, so yeah. We drove on this yard, no roads involved, and.. yeah. It was much easier than I had imagined, even if I just drove in the first .. gear? (vaihde) It wasn't really any different from driving a moped so I think I might have easier with the driving since I know how to drive moped, which is great~
I feel like I always just write these lame ass text but ahaha, I think a lot of stuff, but never when writing in my blog so I never really.. capture the thought lol. Anyway, I'll leave you for now.
- Niko
January 17, 2012
$ HAIR $
Haha that sounds like those viagra and penis enlargement mails you all get... Tho what I mean by the title is that someday, when I'm really poor, cause I can't live on being an artist, I'll cut my hair and get some food money for it. FUCK YEAH. How to survive life; always have long hair to get money of.
I hate being as tired as I was today, srsly, everything was just suuuch a pain in the ass and like uuugghh. I still haven't got my PS3, which.. sucks. since I feel like it'll never arrive. He has probably, most likely, fooled me so yay. G'bye 200€, I don't think I'll ever see you again.... ! Okay well I suppose if he turns out to be a scam, my mom will work her ass off to get my money back so AHAHA.
Oh I btw have this list of things I want.. Cause I decided I need to make some kind of priority list to keep track of shit. But it's still really hard to.. prioritize some shit cause.. I WANT IT ALL. NOW. HHNG.
So, things I have on the list in priority order;
You notice I have finally decided to actually get programs such as SAI and Photoshop, since I want to use them legally. I want to be able to sell prints at cons if I want to and work on stuff in photoshop without needing to feel like a criminal.. It's sad tho that everything has to be so goddamn expensive. But I suppose, once you got it you won't really need to upgrade it or get newer versions of it until like.. 20 years later, haha. Idk, but I can just imagine that you get quite far with the things that you find in Photoshop CS 5 or whatever version it is and so on.
SAI isn't really even that expensive, compared to photoshop at least, ahaha. But I think it's worth the price (~50€) since it's my favorite drawing program when working digitally, and I just think it's a really great program and all. Ofc I could use GIMP but.. I just simply hate GIMP ahaha. I think it's a hooorribly confusing program, there's no up and down in it, it just.. is. So yeah. SAI FTW.
Also about the last thing; yes, it's a kind of BJD doll. I have for many years now, ever since Kai got his first one I think, dreamed of having a really tiny one that I can just.. carry around and be cute with. I wanted it to be pocket size and I kinda did want it to be an animal as well, or a human with tail and ears or something... Well, I found a lovely site where they sold mostly animal design BJDs and there I found Robin. People probably think I'm crazy wasting about 160€ on such a small DOLL, but.. Meh, I don't know. Might as well get all these expensive stuff as long as you live at home and don't have to pay rent or buy food yourself. Then it's going to be impossible to ever buy anything anymore really :'D
So yeah. There's a list of things I reallt really want. I wish I could gather money in some other way than just the money I get from my parents every month, and ofc I'll have a summer job during summer, but.. it'd be nice if I'd be more creative, post more art, create my own style or just I dunno, have nice enough art to catch people's attention so that they'd like to buy shiet.
I kinda had plans on making a Panty cosplay for summer 2012, but.. I don't know if I'll have any money over for that, or cons or anything.. How weird, having a completely con free year.. I mean, yeah, the interest is kinda killed, but.. I still have this feeling that I'd actually really want to, I just kinda.. push it away since I don't feel good enough, and it needs a lot of time and money and besides, at the con I'll still have the shittiest time ever since I'll just be sitting in some corner lonely, instead of being a sexy ass Panty. Bleh. But I hope maybe someday still I could go to cons and feel good about it.. I'd really love too. Tho, I suppose I could at least take a visit at some con if I happen to be in Tampere filming as they have Tracon or something..~ Sounds very nice..~
Woohoo. I'm really happy about the sketch I just made, I have this art trade I should be working on, but school and everything just takes up my time. And I don't really feel that creative after a long day in school in front of a computer trying to come up with smart ass ideas in design class, I'm not just good at designing shit.. And I feel really awful spending most of my time just slacking off... I just can't come up with great ideas all the time, so I need to slack off some :'B But I think it's really nice to get to use a new program (Illustrator) and I actually really like it. It's kinda like Flash, yet not. Unluckily I'm not able to install my tablet so yeah.. Tho school has a few ones, but we have to circulate them so, it's not.. really that nice. Oh well.
On Friday I think I actually have some photographing to do, like.. work photographing, so that'll be nice :') Might get a little cash..~
I have a arthistory thing I also need to get done annd.. Oh, we need to read a book for mother tongue. Hömhöm. Yees, I have some stuff going on atm ahah :') Wish I'd have more energy and could do more during the days.. But in school you just have to work on the school thing you're currently doing, and then you get home and you're tired and out of inspiration and bleh.
Uh oh. I think I'm done explaining shit right now :'D
My cat is fucking adorable.
Oh I btw have this list of things I want.. Cause I decided I need to make some kind of priority list to keep track of shit. But it's still really hard to.. prioritize some shit cause.. I WANT IT ALL. NOW. HHNG.
So, things I have on the list in priority order;
- PlayStation 3
- Canon EOS 600D
- Skyrim (I think I'll save up for Skyrim kinda at the same time as I save for the Canon....)
- Paint Tool SAI License
- Alice Madness Returns
- Assassins Creed II
- Assassins Creed Brotherhood
- Assassins Creed Revelations (?)
- Adobe Creative Suite 5.5 Production Premium (I have a reeeeaally hard time choosing what pack I'd like to have, cause.. They usually don't have all the programs I want. I wish you could kinda pick the programs you want, and make an own package. That way, you'd get what you really just need and still get it for much less than buying each program separately.)
- Pipo Doll Robin
You notice I have finally decided to actually get programs such as SAI and Photoshop, since I want to use them legally. I want to be able to sell prints at cons if I want to and work on stuff in photoshop without needing to feel like a criminal.. It's sad tho that everything has to be so goddamn expensive. But I suppose, once you got it you won't really need to upgrade it or get newer versions of it until like.. 20 years later, haha. Idk, but I can just imagine that you get quite far with the things that you find in Photoshop CS 5 or whatever version it is and so on.
SAI isn't really even that expensive, compared to photoshop at least, ahaha. But I think it's worth the price (~50€) since it's my favorite drawing program when working digitally, and I just think it's a really great program and all. Ofc I could use GIMP but.. I just simply hate GIMP ahaha. I think it's a hooorribly confusing program, there's no up and down in it, it just.. is. So yeah. SAI FTW.
Also about the last thing; yes, it's a kind of BJD doll. I have for many years now, ever since Kai got his first one I think, dreamed of having a really tiny one that I can just.. carry around and be cute with. I wanted it to be pocket size and I kinda did want it to be an animal as well, or a human with tail and ears or something... Well, I found a lovely site where they sold mostly animal design BJDs and there I found Robin. People probably think I'm crazy wasting about 160€ on such a small DOLL, but.. Meh, I don't know. Might as well get all these expensive stuff as long as you live at home and don't have to pay rent or buy food yourself. Then it's going to be impossible to ever buy anything anymore really :'D
So yeah. There's a list of things I reallt really want. I wish I could gather money in some other way than just the money I get from my parents every month, and ofc I'll have a summer job during summer, but.. it'd be nice if I'd be more creative, post more art, create my own style or just I dunno, have nice enough art to catch people's attention so that they'd like to buy shiet.
I kinda had plans on making a Panty cosplay for summer 2012, but.. I don't know if I'll have any money over for that, or cons or anything.. How weird, having a completely con free year.. I mean, yeah, the interest is kinda killed, but.. I still have this feeling that I'd actually really want to, I just kinda.. push it away since I don't feel good enough, and it needs a lot of time and money and besides, at the con I'll still have the shittiest time ever since I'll just be sitting in some corner lonely, instead of being a sexy ass Panty. Bleh. But I hope maybe someday still I could go to cons and feel good about it.. I'd really love too. Tho, I suppose I could at least take a visit at some con if I happen to be in Tampere filming as they have Tracon or something..~ Sounds very nice..~
Woohoo. I'm really happy about the sketch I just made, I have this art trade I should be working on, but school and everything just takes up my time. And I don't really feel that creative after a long day in school in front of a computer trying to come up with smart ass ideas in design class, I'm not just good at designing shit.. And I feel really awful spending most of my time just slacking off... I just can't come up with great ideas all the time, so I need to slack off some :'B But I think it's really nice to get to use a new program (Illustrator) and I actually really like it. It's kinda like Flash, yet not. Unluckily I'm not able to install my tablet so yeah.. Tho school has a few ones, but we have to circulate them so, it's not.. really that nice. Oh well.
On Friday I think I actually have some photographing to do, like.. work photographing, so that'll be nice :') Might get a little cash..~
I have a arthistory thing I also need to get done annd.. Oh, we need to read a book for mother tongue. Hömhöm. Yees, I have some stuff going on atm ahah :') Wish I'd have more energy and could do more during the days.. But in school you just have to work on the school thing you're currently doing, and then you get home and you're tired and out of inspiration and bleh.
Uh oh. I think I'm done explaining shit right now :'D
My cat is fucking adorable.
- Niko
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