fields

In lack of people to talk to, I decided to post something in my blog. I really have nothing of importance to say, but I always seem to be able to write something once I start...
I often feel like I wanna write stuff somewhere where people can read it, but at the same time it doesn't feel right to post certain things since I know certain people read what I write, and making a new "secret" blog wouldn't help since no one would find their way there to read it. And writing in my diary feels so unnecessary, how is it helping me at all? Well, anyway. I came to realize that what I actually feel is just the want and need for someone to listen to me, I just want someone to talk to. But I don't really have anyone to talk to who'd make me feel.. "satisfied" with the conversation, you know what I mean? Just anyone won't do, it has to be someone who actually has something to add to the whole conversation and thought process..
Aaaand then I come to the point where everything I've just written just feels stupid and pointless and I consider just deleting it all, like so many times before.
Seriously tho, why do I still have a blog?

-Niko

feels.

might as well upload this here..

-Niko

asd.

(i really just feel like writing atm, otherwise i mightve made a comic about this instead..)

Sometimes when I'm lying on my back, in my bed for instance, I convince myself I'll choke on my fat.
Those times, I imagine having massive fat gatherings around my neck and throat, and as lying on my back, I just feel them increase and gather, weighting down on my throat, making it harder and harder to breathe...

-Niko

yet another one...

-Niko

mooaar comics

.PRTY.PPR.

I think I'll just ramble for a bit. I feel I need to write something here before I go to bed, and so that's what I'm doing.

Ugh. I feel extremely tired right now. At the same time feeling tired feels.. comforting. The knowledge of being able to fall into nothingness right at the moment when you let it happen.. feels good. Like you know, not needing to struggle to fall asleep, but being death tired to begin with so you need only close your eyes and you'll be soundly asleep.

I wish I could be tired all the time, maybe even sickly tired, just fall asleep whenever. Haha.

Also it reminds me of the past, not in a bad way tho, at least it doesn't feel bad at this moment, probably does feel at any other time, but it's the feeling of gaming and all nighters. Late nights, and early mornings. Pumping energy drinks and watching the sun set, then rise. It's that dead, zombie feeling in my eyes, the way your eyes feel like when they've been staring at that screen for all day (or night). Feels quite good right now.

And the feeling of not giving a damn about anything cause your head is so tired, it doesn't want to process any deeper thoughts than "ZZzZzZzzzZZzZzz". aw ye.

I got about half of the things I wanted to do today done. I also got up about 2h later than planned, you think that might've been a part of all this failing?? Not even gon 'xcuse ma english yo.

Aahahaha I use Orelium for everything, I shouldn't but I just love it cause it's mine. It's my own little baby and creation, and only I know it's true meaning. No such thing as Orelium even exists for other people, for me it really is something. For me, it's important. And I want it to be me, just like Niko is me. I don't want to have to separate it from anything just because it'd have to be something else. Hahahahaha and no one knows what I'm talking about but that's fine, it's just the way it was supposed to be.

Okay one last pic and I'm off to bed. My thought are with you, anew.

This is the party pooper. He poops on everyone's parties and has too much swag to care.

Also, he's a douche.

- Niko

Exceptional

Exceptionally good day today! .. Almost at least.

- Niko