Pollen be gone!

Holy crap am I tired.

Pollen is currently killing the shit out of me, and I'm so fucking busy that I don't have time to sleep enough and so I'm tired as fuck all the time and yeah.. Pollen + the medication also wears me out so nopedope not fun.
And my medication's really shitty too so.. ffuu. But I might go buy some new stuff tomorrow... I just paid lots of longboard stuff for almost 300e, so I don't really feel like spending 50e on some fucking medicine, but since my asthma discus only has 8 shots left, I suppose I'll have to go get some more... aaghh.
Oh btw, about my discus, it feels as the shots are way too.. small. Like, earlier in life, I always reacted directly to the medicine and was able to breath again like.. instantly. But now it's like it takes about 50% of the breathing problems away, and then it leaves this very.. annoying I-can-kind-of-breathe-yet-not feeling, and it's not really that nice.. GIVE ME HIGHER DOSES.

I'm sorry I don't really have any pictures to show today, I haven't been taking much lately, just been stressing and trying to get shit done.. aaghh.

Uhm... Dunno what else to say haha, I don't really have much to say, but I feel like I needed to update...

Okay well, i'll soon go and try sleep... The past night have been a pain since I've had to wake up several times to take medication so that I could breathe.. fuck.

- Niko

Jag vill vinna en Canon 600D!

Just a quick post!
I saw this contest on Fokis blog, where you could win a Canon EOS 600D, my dream acmera! So of course I decided I'd enter!

I hope it's okay that I write in english...

Okay so here's my summer outfit. It's not that special or anything, but it fits perfectly for summer, since it a very cool outfit. I'm also wearing my dino necklace and sandals from Thailand, haha.

The reason I'd like to win this contest, is because I have been wanting this particular camera ever since we got them to school. They're really cool and take both great pictures and videos. My old camera is sort of good for pictures, but it can't film for a penny. And that's why I'd like a better camera; to film.
I'm in art school as some of you may know, and I'm very much into animating and filming, and I would really like to be able to complete all my short movie ideas and other film ideas that I currently have.

I would of course also take pictures with it since it's a REALLY great camera, so I really hope I'll win it, cause they're quite expensive, and I wont really have the money to buy one, since I'm planning on getting a longboard, and I have to pay all the hotel and train to Desucon and at the end of the year I'll go to Greece! So I don't have a lot of money to spare for this beauty. :')

Thanks!

- Niko

mornin

Mornin bloggin ftw !

It's raining today, but it's at least not as windy as it was yesterday! So that's good. Aaahhmm. Oh I really feel like videoblogging but since I always look so stupid doing it haha I'm not gonna.. some other time.. Not even dressed now.. DON'T GET ANY DIRTY THOUGHTS YOU, I knoooow you were gonna.. B'V

Ahmm. I took pictures of the rain again, wooh. Tho I'm not gonna post anything since I didn't get any good once really haha. uumm.. y I has nothing to saay...

Oh yesterday I had to cook and it went better than it has ever gone before, so that's good.. maybe I'm learning... <<

I think I'll just post a few pics now haha, can't come up with anything to say ..

Some fabrics I bought a few days ago

The fake Campbell shoes I bought!

And a pretty box that was sent to Canada.. Can you guess what's inside?~

- Niko

rantrantrant

Haithar.

Hmm, so today me and Vallu decided that we are apparently going to Desucon! Whoo~ Since I'll be working almost the whole summer it'll be fun to spend 3 days in Lahti so yup~ Tho I can't use any of my current cosplay's since I have pink hair and I have always used my normal blond hair when cosplaying and I don't really have any money to spend on a wig or a new costume since well, I have to pay a whole lot of Vallus part of this trip haha XD + I'm currently really messed up about what stuff I should and shouldn't buy.. I hate buying expensive stuff, it's the stupidest thing ever. It's like.. I just can't do it since you have to save up money and then it's suddenly just gone and it's just so hard to know what expensive stuff you REALLY need and what you don't and hfsuiojal I hate money and I hate not being a millionaire ... Okay, now I really feel like making a costume, CAN I DO IT IN JUST ONE MONTH Aaaa I dunno. you tell me ;__;

I hate that we humans always have these.. complexes with shit or like you know it's always like buhuh I'm so ugly I need to become prettier and then you're never really happy and it's actually really exhausting feeling this way (since I do but I still sometimes like.. don't.. Since I sometimes, when I see myself, I think like whadap with me, my legs and ass look completely normal and okay and shit, but then still, the shorts and stuff wont look good on me and then I cry sob) and I just don't kind of get why the hell it has to be this way and uh oh. And also same goes for money I mean my god, I'm obsessed with money. And I feel really really sad unless I have shit loads of money, which I never really have, but I kind of at the same time don't want to do nothign to get money and it's weird and annoying. And I just wish that I could do something I like and make money doing it BUT NOPE. I don't fucking get this world aaarrrrff, why are some so fuckign rich, why are there like .... a few famous and they're uber rich and then everyone else are just normal and poor and DA FUQ. :'B And becomign known is also so fucking impossible I want to cry. Forever letting everything out on my bloggu.

oooh it's raining outside. Tomorrow we have and English test, whoop. Prolly gonna go real shitty but I don't caare. ALSO ANOTHER THING I STARTED THINKING OF.

People being so fucking amazingly supporting aaahh yes, fuck everyone. I know I'm just the same but still, I like complaining about stuff so shadap.
Whenever you get this great idea and it's like you're like yyeeah maybe I should oor well maybe nooot.. And then there's this friend of yours who's like YEH go for it I think it's fantastic *sparkle* and you're liek oh my god yes why didn't I see it thank you labu youu yaaay and then you start building it up like fawk yyiia I can do this and then you start talking about it to other people cause you also want them to think it's the best motherfucking idea they have ever heard BUT THEN, this happens - they will tell you NOPE. You can't do that because your idea is fucking dumbshit fuck why did you even I don't get how you could possibly ever imagine THIS could be GOOD ahaha stop kidding me you ass ahahah you can't do shit you suck nothign works in this world and you'll probably die in some ditch. That's exactly what they will tell you, they will tell you you can't do anything you wanted to do and they will completely crush your dream and since you weren't on your guard, you were just wiiide open waiting to be smashed inside, they will smash you, hard and brutally. And you will be so sad and loose all hope and just run home and cry and you wont even realize it at first but then you'll be like oh my god they're so right I'll always be just an ass oh my goooddd *cry* and they will have ruined your life.
AND NO, there's no such thing as 'not giving a fuck about what other people think', cause shit just happened okay, you didn't think it was gonna happen and it did and okay, then just shit happens. MKAY.

.. There was something else I was gonna mention.. something to do with that but I can't seem to remember... oh whatever.

Oh yeah I changed the layout on my blog, whatcha think? ~ Happy I finally got it done..

Okay I'll go do something else now uh mm yeah, bai.
- Niko

Just an update..

Its' been a while again haha fuck my life.

Naw but I've been quite busy lately (why do I always seem to be using that excuse... ?), I had a due today for an English essay, and yesterday I was all the way to Jyväskylä to watch my brother compete in Taitaja (and to do a little shopping..) aannd uh I've been sewing a little lately too, I have some bags for Vallu that I need to get done and yeah, it's been all kind of stuff going on! + I haven't felt really like writing in my blog uh ah so yeah. But now I'm here, all that matters!

Lately I've felt like sewing cosplays, I have this serious need to do it. I mean all anime/manga/game whatever characters always have so creative outfits, they're not boring like normal human shit, and I really feel like making something awesome, and like get the wig and all and oooh so fancy! But here's the problem...

I really do not AT ALL feel like cosplaying. I don't feel like I could do it. I don't feel I'm good enough for it, I just don't have what it 'takes' to be a cosplayer.. Yet I'd really like to like.. make a cosplay for someone, style their wig, put their make up on and aaahhh everything. Then take some pretty pics of them ahah maybe film a video or something but sobsob. still... But I of course have no cosplaying friends around to make cosplays for since I really don't want to make a suit for someone that can't try it on all once in a while so I'd get all the proportions right and shit you know, so much can go wrong if you don't have the exact body as a model as they have or like gah am I making sense? Well anyway, complicated. Blöh.

I also feel really inspired to draw but haha I'm such a lazy bastard I haven't gotten around to do shit yet. I have sooo many ideas whoop. And I'm currently trying to change my style. I'm like srsly trying to force my style to change since I'm so fucking auhnka done with it. Tho forcing a change has never before worked of been a good idea but uh oh.. let's hope shit doesn't happen this time. I'm actually trying to achieve somekind of own.. nice.. style.. thingy by studying the art and style of Nana-in-the-clouds since I have always been so jealous of her since she's got this kind of realistic yet not style which I'd really want to have since it's kind of like simple yet not and it's just cool but uh I'm still trying not to completely copy her since buaah copycat, don't wanna be one but yeah.. 

Whaaat else.. Oh yeah uh. I don't think I ever told you guys, but my hair is pink now ahahaha. Colored it on my birthday (9th of April) and.. yeah. it's cute.

I don't think I have anything else really to say, I suppose I'll post a little pics and yyeaah. Bai. 

- Niko

pics&shit

Shiet made in school

I've been sewing a little too

The pic I'm working on tho I have no idea what color I should make the horns, eyes and hair..

New clothes from H&M! Bought a pair of shorts, a new bag, a top and some soft pannttss

Random nail art haha with my new nailpolish.

I'M NOT LYING, SEE! D:

Haha just posting pics cause I'm lazy and I don't really have nothing to say but yyeah. feels like I need to update. I dunno why blogger wont post my pics the right way even tho I saved em like that so uh oh. live with  it! 

The past.. 2 days I've been living on burana and mynthos, yaay. I'm a lil sick so yup, but shit's goood.

- Niko

APOLOGIES.

IF I'M FAST I might finish before we're gonna watch a movie. GOTTABEFAST.

Aaarharhar. I often have this feeling that I'm not .. worthy of speaking to some people. Like I'm probably not good enough for them as company. Like like. I often get this feeling when people are down and I'm like oh my god let me hug you and tell you shit's gon be oka- no wait I can't talk to you, you're way too cool. :'C
Cause I mean blerr I'm just a annoying teenager who probably doesn't understand shit and uh oh. Yeh. Why and how or what could I ever do to help someone I mean they probably ahve shitloadsa more experience so what would my tiny bitsy itsy thoughts help them since they probably already have thought that way and shiiet. bra.

Then also uh oh. What was I gonna say. oh my god I've been thinking so much today but now I can't remember bahuu. Well uh, apparebtly people often.. or well, not people. It's just that always when I speak of people, others seems to think they're the devil themselves. I mean the people I'm talking about, not the people I'm talking to. Since I pretty much never speak good of people, I mean. I never mention people when I'm happy about something they've done or been or whatever you know, the only times I mention people is when I'm angry, annoyed, angsty whatever negative feelings, and so ofc I will express myself about the people I'm talking about in a negative way so that people who hear me talkign will think that oh my god that person must be such a bitch! And this happens actually quite a lot.
BUT it's not that way. JUST BECAUSE I happen to be pissed at some one at the moment, doesn't mean they're the devil themselves. It doesn't mean they're fucking evil and have plans to rape and kill me. IT DOESN'T MEAN they're bad people, SRSLY GAIS. Everyone I know are good people in their own way (okayIknowaboutonethat'snotbutit'snotrelevant...) and I don't really HATE anyone just because I happen to be expressing my negative feelings about them at the moment to you. I'm just normally angry, or depressed or whatever over something going on around this person or w/e shit m'kay.
So yeah. Now you know. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

Ugh. And I really feel like I need to apologize to pretty much everyone in my past ohmygodI'vebeensuchacunt, tho I have no idea if I have changed at all ahahaha.. aha.. well anyway been treating people like shit and uh oh. NOTHING NEW. Na but yea... And there's this one person who actually uh oh, I think he had .. okay no actually I know he had a crush on me but denied it SO MUCH, causeimacunt since I was afraid of getting togetehr and i know it was wrong to just act as if I didn't get it even tho he did tell me and all but uh oh aaa sorry. And and.uh. It kinda bothers me since I have no idea what kind of a crush it was and I'm so afraid that he'd still be in pain of it and uh oh. I'm sorry. You probably know who you are so uh. sorry.

Okay well I'll go watch a movie nao with ma mama and ma sistaaa. YE.
- Niko