October 7, 2011

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

I think I'm gonna start crying, for ridiculous reasons. I'm watching these videos of Lolitas and oh my god, they make me cry cause.. They're so lovely ;A; They're like cute and pretty and shit and they're all like "Yeah, I like being lolita cause I can be myself ♥" etc and I'm like ... HHNNGgGG me want also. Not maybe to eb a lolita, cause I doubt I'd fit, but but. Find something that will be.. me.
And Lolitas apparently listen to really nice music... ? I actually have no idea what most Lolitas listen too, but shelbycloud has a lot of nice music on her vids at least, very close to Capsule I think? For example;



And Capsule


Quite similar?

Anyway, I'd also love to have some lovely clothing style, and dare look.. awesome and pretty and and ffttttt. Know how to dress, put my hair and do my makeup. And have long thin pretty legs, huurrr.
But I'm just lost and have no idea who the fuck I am. All these voices in my head. Makes it hard to know what I actually feel and think. Cause, they never seem to agree. .. I probably sound crazy, but it's like.. You know, someone tells you stuff and their opinions, and the opinion kinda just get stored in your head and then when you're supposed to think, they're there and mess everything up cause you don't know what your opinion is anymore so you don't know what you should stick to. It's very two faced.

Enough about that. Todays topic.. I haven't checked it yet, let's copy paste it to my tittle and see what I'm supposed to write about..~

.. Oh golly. Uhh. I hope my future will be nicer than I imagine it too be, cause atm at least I'm just so.. negative that my future looks like shit and I suppose I have never really like.. Seen my future brightly, it always seems to be like "yeah, I'm gonna b poor as fuck and prolly live on the streets and die in hunger or something, or then I'll live ont he streets with my cats, I'll be a crazy cat lady muahahaha" but uh.. That's not what I really hope it to be like. I'd like to have an own apartment and I'd like to be at least a bit known for some of my art work or something, whatever I'm doing in trhe future, so that i can make a living of it and.. I don't want to be married, I'd rather not have a partner neither any kids, but I'd have a cat and maybe a dog and I'd live somewhere peacefully and and.. I'd have my life solved out, I'd be a positive person and I'd be able to just be me and not be a lying dick head and I'd have a few chosen friends possibly anndd.. Yeah. That's what I'd like my future to be like. To be a positive person, and to have a job I enjoy. And not need to constantly worry about money...


- Niko
Bättre tiga än illa tala.

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